SONG PARODY LYRICS
TACO BELL
(Kokomo – The Beach Boys)
Hard tacos, soft tacos, beef and bean burritos
Chalupas, gorditas, chicken, steak fajitas
Chilitos, and nachos, double decker tacos, bell Grande
Somewhere down the street
There’s a place called Taco Bell
There’s where we go to eat, if you want to smell
Cinnamon crispas, hot sauce, Mexican pizza
Jalapenos, onions, guacamole and a chihuahua
“Yo quiero taco Bell”
Hard tacos, soft tacos, beef and bean burritos
Chalupas, gorditas, chicken, steak fajitas
Chilitos, and nachos
Ooh I want to take you down to Taco Bell
We’ll get there faster if we run like hell
Meat and beans in a shell, way down at Taco Bell
(Fries, supreme, with cheese and sour cream)
We’ll get it to stay, and we’ll fill up the whole damn tray
Bit by bit, we will get, a little bit of gas today
Afternoon specials, meximelts and free refills
That spicy food in your gut
Will soon be oozing out of your butt, down at Taco Bell
Hard tacos, soft tacos, beef and bean burritos
Chalupas, gorditas, chicken, steak fajitas
Chilitos, and nachos
Ooh I want to take you down to Taco Bell
We’ll get there faster if we run like hell
Meat and beans in a shell, way down at Taco Bell
(Lettuce, pintos, black olives, tomatoes)
Everybody tells, of a place called Taco Bell
Now if you want to go, and don’t know what they sell
Go down to Taco Bell
Hard tacos, soft tacos, beef and bean burritos
Chalupas, gorditas, chicken, steak fajitas
Chilitos, and nachos
Ooh I want to take you down to Taco Bell
We’ll get there faster if we run like hell
Meat and beans in a shell, way down at Taco Bell
(repeat)
TAKE IT IN THE BUM
(Take It On The Run – REO Speedwagon)
COMING SOON!
TAKE IT OFF
(Shake It Off – Taylor Swift)
I get up on stage, with nothing barely on
That’s what these guys want, mm-mm
That’s what these guys want, mm-mm
I go on while music plays, just three songs then I’m done
I get tips from everyone, mm-mm
I get lots of ones, mm-mm
And I keep dancing, won’t stop, guys are panting
I like to throw my panties to the crowd
Saying that touching’s not allowed
‘Cause the patrons gonna pay, pay, pay, pay, pay
Just to watch me spread my legs, legs, legs, legs, legs,
Baby, I’m just gonna take, take, take, take, take
I take it off, I take it off (whoo-hoo-hoo)
The strippers, they will shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
Even though their boobs are fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby. I’m just gonna take, take, take, take, take
I take it off, I take it off (whoo-hoo-hoo)
I always wear g-strings, while shakin’ everything
And they’re always cheering, mm-mm
And keep on whistling, mm-mm
I also bare my soul (also bare my soul)
While I gyrate on the pole (gyrate on the pole)
I give them a great show, mm-mm
A really great show, mm-mm
My bits are jiggling, won’t stop, all the wiggling
Looks like I got this stripping thing down pat
Y’know I’m giving tit for tat
‘Cause the patrons gonna pay, pay, pay, pay, pay
Just to watch me spread my legs, legs, legs, legs, legs,
Baby, I’m just gonna take, take, take, take, take
I take it off, I take it off (whoo-hoo-hoo)
The strippers, they will shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
Even though their boobs are fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby. I’m just gonna take, take, take, take, take
I take it off, I take it off (whoo-hoo-hoo)
I take it off, I take it off, I, I, I take it off, I take it off
I, I, I take it off, I take it off, I, I, I take it off
I take it off (whoo-hoo-hoo)
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Just think, you’re all just getting drunk on beer
Throwing your money
Like the dirty, dirty perverts you all are
And lying to your wives about where, you, are
Guys want me to be their girlfriend, they’re like
“Oh my God!” every time that I shake
And to the guy in the front row
Who spends a lot of dough
Would you want a lap dance honey?
I can shake, shake, shake, yeah, yeah, oh, oh
‘Cause the patrons gonna pay, pay, pay, pay, pay
Just to watch me spread my legs, legs, legs, legs, legs,
Baby, I’m just gonna take, take, take, take, take
I take it off, I take it off (whoo-hoo-hoo)
The strippers, they will shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
Even though their boobs are fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby. I’m just gonna take, take, take, take, take
I take it off, I take it off (whoo-hoo-hoo)
I take it off, I take it off, I, I, I take it off, I take it off
I, I, I take it off , I take it off, I, I, I take it off
I take it off (whoo-hoo-hoo), take it off, I take it off
I, I, I take it off, I take it off, I, I, I take it off, I take it off
I, I, I take it off (yeah), I take it off (whoo-hoo-hoo)
Take it off, I take it off
I, I, I take it off, I take it off (I got to), I take it off, I take it off
I, I, I take it off, I take it off
TALK NERDY TO ME
(Talk Dirty To Me – Poison)
You know I met you, I met you at the Comic-Con
With your slave Leia costume on
And I loved it, and I know you loved me too
I dressed like Doctor Who
I had to have you, oh yes I did
I see you, I see that you wear glasses too
And they look so damn good on you
‘Cause it’s sexy, and you’re hot with those braces
That’s the way it is, you’re pretty nerdy
‘Cause I love it when you’re..
Speaking Klingon, at the comic store
Solving equations, discussing dinosaurs
Playing D&D, and quoting Star Wars
Yes baby, talk nerdy to me
You know I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you that I love you so
You look at me and say “I know”
You know I love it, it’s from Return Of The Jedi
And I’m a Star Wars guy
And you love it too, I know I’ll find you…
Speaking Klingon, at the comic store
Solving equations, discussing dinosaurs
Playing D&D, and quoting Star Wars
Yes baby, talk nerdy to me
Baby, let’s sit and watch a Marvel movie
‘Cause baby you’ll be…
Speaking Klingon, at the comic store
Solving equations, discussing dinosaurs
Playing D&D, and quoting Star Wars
Yes baby, talk nerdy to me
Yea baby, talk nerdy to me, yea, yea, yea
Oh, baby, talk nerdy to me!
Whooo! You’re a geeky goddess, baby, oh yea
TALKING TO A SHEEP
(Talking In Your Sleep – The Romantics)
COMING SOON!
TANG
(Slang – Def Leppard)
Tang!
Spittin’ up, gettin’ sick because I drank
Something crude from a dirty shot glass
Yeah yeah yeah, you should realize
I like to get drunk, but that ain’t my style
I’ll drink my milk and water too, it’s not enough
All I ever wanna drink is Tang, alright
(Tang for me) it just feels good in my tummy
(Tang for me) it always seems to quench my thirst
(Tang for me) it’s just so refreshing and yummy
All I ever wanna drink is Tang
When astronauts are on a mission
It’s their favorite go-to drink
With citric acid and, fructose
Why make something else
When nothing even comes close
There’s orange and grape
And passion fruit and strawberry too
All I ever wanna drink is Tang, oh yea
(Tang for me) it just feels good in my tummy
(Tang for me) it always seems to quench my thirst
(Tang for me) it’s just so refreshing and yummy
All I ever wanna drink is Tang
Here’s my confession, it’s now my obsession
So don’t you question, my drink addiction
(Tang for me) it just feels good in my tummy
(Tang for me) it always seems to quench my thirst
(Tang for me) it’s just so refreshing and yummy
All I ever wanna drink is Tang
(Tang for me) it just feels good in my tummy
(Tang for me) it always seems to quench my thirst
(Tang for me) it’s just so refreshing and yummy
All I ever wanna drink is Tang
TATERS AU GRATIN
(Nights In White Satin – The Moody Blues)
Taters au gratin, what a tasty side dish
Goes well with chicken, and with beef, pork or fish
Its scalloped potatoes all covered in cheese
Cooked in the oven, guaranteeing to please
And I love them, yes I love them, oh how I love them
Don’t overcook them, Or they lose flavour
The taste is exquisite, you need to savour
You’ll need hot water, and milk and some butter
Just mix them together, and give them a good stir
And I love them, yes I love them
Oh how I love them, I really love them
Taters au gratin, I just can’t get enough
I got some cooking, it is never too much
Baking some for dinner, it feeds up to four
Your family loves it, they’ll keep asking for more
‘Cause they love them, yes they love them
Oh how them love them, they really love them
And I love them, yes I love them
Oh how I love them, I really love them
(Spoken):
Heat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit
Mix potatoes and sauce mix
Boiling water, milk and margarine
In a greased six cup casserole
Or nine inch square baking pan
Bake uncovered 30 to 35 minutes
Or until top is golden brown
And potatoes are tender
Remove from oven
Sauce will thicken as it stands
Makes about 5, half cup servings
TELEPHONE BILLS
(Telephone Line – Electric Light Orchestra)
Hello? Where are you? Have we’ve been cut off?
Now I’m very, very, very, very, very pissed
That’s what I yelled, I’d like to call you back
If I paid up my telephone, yea, yea, yea
What? Final notice? I’ve already paid
Don’t you recall I sent a check last month?
For, half the, full amount, that check must have bounced
Now I owe an arm and leg
Too much, someone calls too much
To France and Amsterdam
Collect, long distance, no savings plan
I look at numbers called
(I’m sure I don’t know someone from Beirut)
And I am appalled
(What the hell’s 1-800-Lick My Boots?)
Oh, no, telephone bills, these rates can kill
I’m not paying for it
Oh, no, telephone bills, gives me the chills
I just can’t afford it
Okay, so they’re not listening
Why won’t they just let it slide
Until next week, next month, next year
Oh, oooh, I’ll sit and pout, from darkness of my house
‘Cause my hydro’s not paid too, oh no, yea, yea, yea
Too much, someone calls too much
To France and Amsterdam
Collect, long distance, no savings plan
I look at numbers called
(I’m sure I don’t know someone from Beirut)
And I am appalled
(What the hell’s 1-800-Lick My Boots?)
Oh, no, telephone bills, these rates can kill
I’m not paying for it
Oh, no, telephone bills, gives me the chills
I just can’t afford it
Oh, no, telephone bills, these rates can kill
I’m not paying for it
Oh, no, telephone bills, gives me the chills
I just can’t afford it
TELL HER TO SHOVE IT
(Tell Her About It – Billy Joel)
COMING SOON!
THE CUPBOARDS OF THE FLINTSTONES
(Cover Of The Rolling Stone – Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show)
(Ha, ha, ha, I don’t believe it, they are, from the stone age
Hey Fred, hey Barney, tell them who you are)
Well, we’re big fat cavemen, we live every day, man
In this old prehistoric town (that sounds about right)
We work at the quarry, and we like to go bowl
There’s many rocks and stones around (right)
There’s lots of dinosaurs, that can do all sorts of chores
So you know we are never alone
And we keep them hidden, in the bathroom and kitchen
In the cupboards of the Flintstones
(The Flintstones) gonna find some creatures in the cupboards
(Stones) gonna use them one way or another (yeah!)
(Stones) gonna see interesting things
In the cupboards of the Flintstones
(They sound very, very, handy)
I got this little old bronto, who can vacuum pronto
By using his big long nose
I have a turtle that can, somehow, iron out all our clothes
Well, they’ve all been taught, to do a lot
That’s why we keep them all in our home
They tend to our wishes, like the trash and dishes
In the cupboards of the Flintstones
(The Flintstones) gonna find some creatures in the cupboards
(Stones) gonna use them one way or another (yeah!)
(Stones) gonna see some crazy things
In the cupboards of the Flintstones
(Hey, know what I say? Yabba-Dabba-Doo!)
(Ah, that’s beautiful, Fred)
We got rabbits that can be our T.V. antennas
And use gophers for golf tees
We got woolly mammoths that give us showers
And shave with a clam full of bees
There’s monkeys that clean, and blow out our lights
Porcupine brushes and fish bone combs
But they all are forgiving, and say that it’s a living
In the cupboards of the Flintstones
(The Flintstones) gonna find some creatures in the cupboards
(Stones) gonna use them one way or another (You’ll want them)
(Stones) gonna see interesting things
In the cupboards of the Flintstones
In the cupboards of the..
(Stones) gonna find some creatures in the cupboards
(I don’t know how they made it through without them)
(Stones) gonna use them one way or another
(They’re just primitive cavemen)
(Stones) gonna see some crazy things
(I ain’t kidding, they’re resourceful creatures)
In the cupboards of the Flintstones
(All sorts of creatures, man, I can see them now
Just working away, helpful, man, oh, beautiful)
THE DISHES SIT
(If This Is It – Huey Lewis & The News)
I’ve been cleaning, day to evening
I see you eat, always, all day long
You’ll fill the kitchen, with dirty dishes
They’re piling up, it’s so, so wrong
Please don’t lie, and say that it’s not you
Please don’t cry, and kick up such a stink
Wash and dry, is all you have to do now
But you just don’t, you leave them in the sink
The dishes sit, for days and days
I don’t know why they’re always left this way
The dishes sit, and that’s how they stay
‘Cause you won’t wash, you just run away
You’re just lazy and drive me crazy
We both know you can be a jerk
They keep collecting, but you’re objecting
You do anything to avoid some work
Please just try, to do a little scrubbing
Please just try, to rinse a plate or bowl
I don’t know why, you always do nothing,
You let it go, and now it’s growing mould
The dishes sit, for days and days
I don’t know why they’re always left this way
The dishes sit, and that’s how they stay
‘Cause you won’t wash, you just run away
The dishes sit, for days and days
I don’t know why they’re always left this way
The dishes sit, and that’s how they stay
‘Cause you won’t wash, you just run away
The dishes sit, forever now, (I wish they won’t)
Oooh-ooh-ooh
The dishes sit, (the dishes sit) forever now
(They always do) oooh-ooh-ooh
The dishes sit, (so dirty) forever now, oooh-ooh-ooh
Just clean them, the dishes sit
Forever now, ooh-ooh-ooh
THE FORCE IS STRONG
(The Tide Is High – Blondie)
COMING SOON!
THE INTERNET’S WHERE YOU LIVE
(You Get What You Give – New Radicals)
COMING SOON!
THE MAYO MADE ME ILL
(The Way You Make Me Feel – Michael Jackson)
COMING SOON!
THE MONOPOLY MAN
(The Invisible Man – Queen)
I’m the Monopoly man, I’m the Monopoly man
When you’re playing, then you can, keep passing go
(Baltic Avenue)
When you roll the dice, you move round the board
Roll doubles and, then you go once more
Roll it three times, then you are behind bars
You can be a dog, a shoe, or a car
I’m the Monopoly man, I’m the Monopoly man
When you’re playing, then you can, keep passing go
I’m the Monopoly man, I’m the Monopoly Man
It’s wonderful when you land, on free parking
(Marvin Gardens)
You’ll land on Chance, Community Chest
Buy a property, and now get the rest
Like the Water Works, or a railroad
Better collect rent, then you’ll rake in the dough
I’m the Monopoly man, I’m the Monopoly man
When you’re playing, then you can, keep passing go
I’m the Monopoly man, I’m the Monopoly Man
It’s wonderful when you land, on free parking
Oh, oh, oh, just go (bank errors)
Oh, oh, oh, past go (beauty contests)
Oh, oh, oh, you go, past go, past go, past go
If you have monopolies, then you’d do really well
When you put on some houses, then a big hotel
You run out of cash, then you would have to sell
You can just buy and sell, you can just buy and sell
(Park Place, Park Place)
Now you own the streets, on the whole damn block
All the railroads, and even boardwalk
You can make big bucks, from other players
And before you know it, you are the big, big winner
I’m the Monopoly man, I’m the Monopoly man
When you’re playing, then you can, keep passing go
I’m the Monopoly man, I’m the Monopoly Man
It’s wonderful when you land, on free parking
Roll the dice, roll the dice
(Reading Railroad!)
THE REJECTS
(The Reflex – Duran Duran)
COMING SOON!
THE STRIPPER TAKES IT OFF
(The Winner Takes It All – Abba)
I don’t pay to talk, I just came to see a show
Though it’s costing me, twenty bucks you see
I’ve drank all my beer, I’m sure that she’s drunk too
Nothing more today, no more cash to pay
The stripper takes it off, the bouncer’s big and tough
Beside the big brass pole she also bares her soul
I was near the stage, getting a good view there
I figured I was close,catching all her clothes
The music’s nice and loud, no touching is allowed, here
You’ll be out the door, if you try to score
The girls may throw their bra, the patrons stare in awe
And somewhere way up stage, someone’s in a cage
The stripper takes it off (takes it all off)
Her breasts look nice and soft (big and bouncy)
She shaved it all down there (under where)
Some guys they like it bare (no pubic hair)
But when she does her act, the place is always packed
Some guys get aroused, most are way too soused
I will take a chance, and get a table dance
Loosen all those straps, and wiggle on my lap
The judges will decide (yes they decide)
Which girls they really like (gets them most hard)
Spectators of the show (drunken horn dogs)
Are blowing all their dough (tens and twenties)
Kandy is on again (Kandy is hot)
I like the way she bends (like a pretzel)
I just can’t get enough (no not enough)
The stripper takes it off (takes it right off)
I don’t pay to talk, I came to see them nude
And she’ll never quit, she’s come to shake her tits
I apologize, if I sound like a perv
Boobs, buns, bush and thigh, now you can see why
When you see, the stripper take it off
(la, la, la, la) (la, la, la, la)
The stripper takes it off (la, la, la, la) (la, la, la, la)
Yes the stripper, takes it all off
See her shaking, all of her stuff
Skimpy g-strings, frilly lace things
Women and beer, I’ll be back here
THE THINGS WE DO ON DRUGS
(The Things We Do For Love – 10CC)
COMING SOON!
THE VIDEO GAMES FROM THE ARCADE
(It’s The End Of The World As We Know It – R.E.M.)
Let’s play, it started with a Pong game, Arkanoid and Asteroids
And Galaga is always played
Star Wars is a great game, Tetris uses your brain
Pengo’s breaking ice blocks, Moon Patrol, jumping rocks
Speeding in Turbo, Klax, Joust, Gorf, Tron
And Mappy seemed so happy, Ms. Pac Man goes up, down, right
Scramble is a gamble, Fantasy is a fun game
And a Golden Axe for hire, joining a Food Fight
Venture, Tutankham and Space Fury
With the Warlords breaking down your fort
Track and Field, Kangaroo punching, jumped, ducking, dropped
Look at that Space Ace, so great
Oh no, here we go, Pole Position, ‘round the loop
There’s Mr. Do, Time Pilot, and Gauntlet
Frogger’s what we all need, shoot at a Centipede
Tell me it’s a Rampage, and I’ll Make Trax through the night, right
Those Teenage Mutant, Ninja Turtles
All fight, just right, it’s just what I like
It’s the video games from the arcade
It’s the video games from the arcade
It’s the video games from the arcade, played all the time
Amidar, Ghosts N’ Goblins, get some Elevator Action
Bump N’ Jump, Vanguard, Tempest is really hard
Fightin’ in Jungle Hunt and Commando, Battlezone
Then there’s Journey in Escape, Bubble Bobble is really great
Space Invaders, Lunar Lander, Puzznic, Hat Trick
Get your Q*Bert fix, Qix, oh yeah
Flying Zaxxon, Robotron, Reactor, Donkey Kong
It’s Street Fighter, and Spy Hunter, and Defender, alright
Offer me Splatterhouse, offer me Crazy Climber, and Burgertime
It’s the video games from the arcade
It’s the video games from the arcade
It’s the video games from the arcade
(I always had some time to play)
Played all the time (all the time)
It’s the video games from the arcade
(I always had some time to play)
It’s the video games from the arcade
(I always had some time to play)
It’s the video games from the arcade
(I had lots of time to play)
Played all the time
The other night I had played some Super Mario Brothers
Punch out, Missile Command, Dig Dug, Pac Man
Tapper, Bagman, Dragon’s lair, Galaxian
Mortal Kombat, Berserk, Rallly-X, bang
Those birds from Phoenix, Marble Madness
Bank Panic, yeah (yeah!)
It’s the video games from the arcade
(I always had some time to play)
It’s the video games from the arcade
(I always had some time to play)
It’s the video games from the arcade
(I had lots of time to play)
Played all the time
It’s the video games from the arcade
It’s the video games from the arcade
It’s the video games from the arcade
(I always had some time to play)
Played all the time
It’s the video games from the arcade
(I always had some time to play)
It’s the video games from the arcade
(I always had some time to play)
It’s the video games from the arcade
(I had lots of time to play)
Played all the time
It’s the video games from the arcade
(I always had some time to play)
It’s the video games from the arcade
(I always had some time to play)
It’s the video games from the arcade
(I had lots of time to play)
Played all the time
THEN SHE SACKED ME
(Then He Kissed Me – The Crystals)
Well I slinked up to her
And asked her if she wanted to fuck
She looked really pissed
That’s when I knew that I pushed my luck
I saw fire in her eyes
What came next was a big surprise
She rammed her knee into me
That’s when she sacked me
My nuts just hung there
They were always swinging wild and free
Now it feels like that they gone
Way back up inside of me
So I screamed in pain quite a lot
She got them both in one shot
She was appalled and wrecked my balls
That’s right, she sacked me
She sacked me in a way
Like she never sacked them before
That’s how she got me doubled over
Crying so much on the floor
There was way too much pain
That it made me want to just throw up
I really wish that I was wearing a protective cup
Now my balls are so very sore
Don’t think I can have kids no more
I felt so ashamed, I could have died
Because she sacked me
She was a very vengeful bitch
And knew exactly where to hit
I learned my lesson, never again
Because she sacked me
And then she sacked me
And then she sacked me
And then she sacked me
THESE THIGHS
(These Eyes – The Guess Who)
These thighs, seen better days, it’s true
My balls, rub on my legs, they do
I’m hurting so much, yeah
They are sore to the touch, oh, so tender, oh no
I know I’m making a fuss, yeah
‘Cause I’m sweaty, so sweaty, oh no
This crotch, fire down below, yes, it burns
My butt’s, worse than you’ll know, I won’t learn
The pain is throbbing
And I just can’t stop sobbing, boo, hoo, hoo
I wish this all would be stopping
Real soon, I hate this, yeah
These thighs, are chafing
These thighs are red and irritated
Because I didn’t wear undies
And it’s a really hot day outside
These thighs, are chafing
These thighs are red and irritated
Because I didn’t wear undies
And it’s a really hot day outside
These thighs, are chafing
These thighs are red and irritated
Because I didn’t wear undies
And it’s a really hot day outside
These thighs, make it so hard, to walk
My crotch, needs some talcum powder
And quite a lot, aaah
These thighs, are chafing
These thighs are red and irritated
Because I didn’t wear undies
And it’s a really hot day outside
These thighs, are chafing
These thighs are red and irritated
Because I didn’t wear undies
And it’s a really hot day outside
(repeat)
THIRTY NINE BEST CARTOONS
(99 Luftbaloons – Nena)
COMING SOON!
THIS IS WHY I MANSCAPE
(Listen To What The Man Said – Paul McCartney & Wings)
All the time, everywhere, I have lots of body hair
My girl don’t mind, well
She thinks it’s sexy and that’s just fine
Do do do, do do do do do, do do do, do do do do do
Lots of guys, Like shaved girls
Says it really rocks their world
And I concur, it’s just fair I do the same for her
Do do do, do do do do do, do do do, do do do do do
Oh – ooh, yes indeed for sure
I got some fancy new hair trimmers
I use them just to manscape
And pubes are gross, what can I say?
They’re always getting in my way
That’s when I manscape
So don’t you see this is why I manscape, I say..
Ah, trim them away
Oh, ooh, sex is great you know
When you are both all shaved down below
It’s better when I manscaped (aaah)
It’s so awesome, when I am bare
‘Cause it’s not a mess down there
And so I’ll manscape
So don’t you see this is why I manscape, I say…
Oh, ooh, yes, some think I’m weird
When I shave my balls just like a beard
Because I always manscape (aaah)
I feel good, when it looks shorn
And bigger than it did before
That’s why I manscape
So don’t you see this is why I manscape, I say
I like trimming it all, baby
I’m shaving clean my balls, baby
It’s better when I’m bald, baby
Yeah, yeah, yeah (ooh-ooh-ooh)
TIGHT CHRISTMAS
(White Christmas – Bing Crosby)
It’s gonna be a tight, Christmas
Because I can’t afford Jack squat
Everything’s expensive, and I’m apprehensive
To spend, money I don’t got
It’s gonna be a tight, Christmas
And there is nothing I can do
Go ahead and call me, a Scrooge
I’m sure I won’t get a gift from you
It’s gonna be a tight, Christmas
I have no choice because I’m poor
You know I’m not lying, ‘cause I will be buying
Some crap, from the dollar store
It’s gonna be a tight, Christmas
Now your stocking will be empty
There’ll be nothing under, the tree
And there’s no tree ‘cause it’s too costly
It’s gonna be a tight, Christmas
Why do we do this every year?
Don’t know why I bother, because I would rather
Spend my, money on some beer
It’s gonna be a tight, Christmas
As every Christmas seems to be
Don’t go blaming it all, on me
Maybe you shouldn’t be so, greedy
TIME FOR SOME KRISPY KREME
(Sign Of The Gypsy Queen – April Wine)
Morning time and I feel drowsy
Gonna need something sugary
Regular donuts just won’t do
So there’s one place that I’ll go to
There is one that’s just down the road
Where everyone will always go
Gonna get lots of cavities
Because I’m eating Krispy Kreme
Time for some Krispy Kreme
The best that you’ve seen
All of them are always glazed
I can eat them for days and days
You can watch them made every time
Rolling down an assembly line
They got sprinkles and jelly filled
So you can always get your fill
And if that’s not enough for you
There’s also tea and coffee too
Gonna buy a dozen or three
When I go to the Krispy Kreme
Time for some Krispy Kreme
The best that you’ve seen
All of them are always glazed
I can eat them for days and days
I think it might be way too much
I’m always on a sugar rush
You know that I just can’t resist
‘Cause they are so damn delicious
I should worry about my health
But I really can’t help myself
I’ll end up with diabetes
From eating too much Krispy Kreme
Time for some Krispy Kreme
The best that you’ve seen
All of them are always glazed
I can eat them for days and days
Time for some Krispy Kreme
The best that you’ve seen
All of them are always glazed
I can eat them for days and days
Time for some Krispy Kreme
The best that you’ve seen
All of them are always glazed
I can eat them for days and days
TOM CRUISE
(Sea Cruise – Frankie Ford)
COMING SOON!
TOOK THE WRONG WAY HOME
(Take The Long Way Home – Supertramp)
COMING SOON!
TOOTH DECAY
(Runaway – Del Shannon)
When I look at me, I wonder
What went wrong with my teeth
These teeth that once were strong
And as I look closer, I see that
A lot are cracked or missing
And it feels so wrong
I am bleeding from my gums
The pain is throbbing and this isn’t fun
Wishing I had brushed some more
But now they are too sore
I wonder, I wa-wa-wa-wa-wonder, how
How, how, how, how, how, it got this way
And I wonder, if I’m okay, with all this tooth decay
My tooth, tooth, tooth, tooth, tooth decay
I’m smiling missing teeth
People notice and they run from me
It’s so hard to get them fixed
With no dental coverage
And I wonder, I wa-wa-wa-wa-wonder, how
How, how, how, how, how, it got this way
And I wonder, if I’m okay, with all this tooth decay
My tooth, tooth, tooth, tooth, tooth decay
My tooth, tooth, tooth, tooth, tooth decay
My tooth, tooth, tooth, tooth, tooth decay
TRANSGENDER
(Surrender – Cheap Trick)
COMING SOON!
TURN OFF THAT PHONE
(Turn To Stone – Electric Light Orchestra)
The city streets are full of them (Attached to everyone)
And everyone has top five friends (Turn it, please, turn it)
Ring tones that really hurt my ears (The volume is up too high)
I don’t want to hear Britney Spears, this wireless world…
Turn off that phone, why do you drone, turn off that phone
Turn off that phone, when you driving home, it’s very wrong
You say your phone can surf the net
(Now you can download porn all day)
Just how pathetic can you get? (Turn it, turn it, turn it)
In restaurants and theatres (I see them everywhere I go)
There’s not much more I can endure, this blue tooth world…
Turn off that phone, it’s very prone, to make me groan
Lose that phone, you’ve become withdrawn, you’re too far gone
No more phone, leave it alone, turn off that phone!
Well, you’re on that damn phone even when you are home
And I’m making it known you should turn off that phone
You’ve been on there so long and you’re babbling on
Please, just turn it, just turn it, just turn off that phone
The inane chatter everywhere (Why do they yell and swear?)
Ignoring folks without a care (Turn it, please, turn it)
Through all my anger and dismay
(Turn off that phone, turn off that phone)
I hope that you’ll come back some day, to the real world…
Turn off that phone, can’t you postpone, ‘til you get home?
Stupid phones, and their stupid tones, this can’t go on
Always on, from dusk ‘til dawn, turn off that phone!
Turn off that phone, you’re on too long, I should have known
Hate those phones, I don’t have my own, I can’t condone
Off that phone, your signal’s gone, TURN OFF THAT PHONE!!
TWEETS OF REVULSION
(Heat Of The Moment – Asia)
COMING SOON!
TYING UP MY SHOES
(Crying Over You – Platinum Blonde)
COMING SOON!