(New Kid In Town – The Eagles)

I heard on the street, about our new neighbours
An older couple, they’re causing quite a stir
Went to their house, welcomed them to the block
Found out they are nudists, it was quite a shock

Where is your clothing? You’re naked in town
Everyone can see you, just lounging around

They’re out in their yard, gardening and mowing their lawn
Wave to everyone, with no clothing on
And every morning, they go out to get their mail
They bend, right over, now I feel pale

How do they do it? Be naked in town
People are appalled, and won’t come around

There’s so many times I should have stopped them
And times that I wish, I called the cops on ‘em
To stop them, body parts flappin’

They’d go on long walks throughout the neighbourhood
They don’t seem ashamed, you know they really should
I wouldn’t complain if they were worth looking at
But the woman is all wrinkly, and the guy is really fat

Put on your clothes now, no more naked in town
It is so disgusting, really
Now they’re sunbathing, it’s bringing me down

Oh, my my, they are naked in town
They like being naked in town (ooh-ooh)
Everybody’s talking about them naked in town
(ooh-ooh) (ooh-ooh)
People can’t stop gawking ‘cause they’re naked in town
(ooh-ooh)
They are naked in town, I don’t wanna see it
They are naked in town, I just can’t believe it
They are naked in town, they are naked in town
They are naked in town
Everybody’s talking, ‘cause they’re naked in town
People can’t stop gawking, ‘cause they’re naked in town
They are naked in town, they are naked in town

(New Girl Now – Honeymoon Suite)

Long laundry night, clothes are everywhere
Loads are getting heavy
I’m folding all the baskets of my underwear
I don’t want to clean my home, it’s a mess and I’m lazy
I know I always sound like a pain

I need a new maid now, I need a new maid now
I need a new maid now, ‘cause I am such a slob

I tried to wash my floor
But the grime was too thick
I try to scrub the toilet
But the stench always makes me sick
I don’t care if you’re sitting in dust
Everything is so gross and filthy
Why must I have to use a dust pan?

I need a new maid now, I need a new maid now
I need a new maid now, because I won’t do squat

I don’t want to cook my food
Someone can do it all for me
Why don’t I hire some Mexican?

I need a new maid now, I need a new maid now
I need a new maid now, ‘cause I’m a lazy fuck

I need a new maid now, I need a new maid now
I need a new maid now, somebody just like you
Just like you… hey, how ‘bout you?

(Turn The Page – Bob Seger)

Somewhere within California, just in Hollywood
There’s this guy who stars in movies
Some are bad and some are good
But when it comes to big star power
No one does it like this guy could
Some say he’s an over-actor, just a bit over the top
He goes into his crazy mode, and then he just will not stop
He can play the perfect psycho, just like he plays in Face/Off

Yes there he goes, taking roles again
There he goes, showing his range
There he goes, stealing the show again
There he goes, Nicolas Cage

When he started out in acting, his first big hit was Moonstruck
Then he became an action star, with Con Air and The Rock
And even with corny dialog, his movies rarely sucked
He’s Gone In Sixty Seconds, or Leaving Las Vegas
He’s a big movie star, someone that you just can’t miss
And although he had his share of flops, you gotta love his hits

Yes there he goes, taking roles again
There he goes, showing his range
There he goes, stealing the show again
There he goes, Nicolas Cage

He’s kicking lots of ass, when he plays the Ghost Rider
And with Raising Arizona, he plays funny for sure
You really gotta love his work, he’s a National Treasure
So when you watch a movie, that will really make your day
Just watch the guy who will play it all
With laughter, love and rage
‘Cause you know that there’s only one
The one and only Nick Cage

Yes there he goes, taking roles again
There he goes, showing his range
There he goes, stealing the show again
There he goes, Nicolas Cage
Yes there he goes, taking roles again
There he goes, showing his range
There he goes, stealing the show again
There he goes, there he goes

(When I’m 64 – The Beatles)

When I got so bored, losing my mind, back in ninety-six
Didn’t have a girlfriend or a decent job
No friends, no cash, typical slob
I would stay up ‘till quarter to three
Sometimes way past four
Yes I still play it, and I still love it, Nintendo 64

Oooooh, you’d be playing too
And if you sit right down, I could play with you

Pop in a cartridge, turn it right on, turn the volume up
Sittin’ playing Shadows of the Empire
Super Mario and Conker
Saving the princess, swinging a sword
We were never bored
Yes I still play it, and I still love it, Nintendo 64

Every weekend we would rent a new game at the Blockbuster
It was not too far, we would play for days
Controller’s on my knee, Zelda, Link and me

Give me some Turok, Perfect Dark too
James Bond Goldeneye
Blastin’ down the TIE fighters in Rogue Squadron
Go in pod race, trying to win
Purple controllers, plug in all four, fingers getting sore
Yes I still play it, and I still love it, Nintendo 64

(Saturday Night – Bay City Rollers)

N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights! N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights!
N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights! N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights!

Well, I always played it since I was a kid
On Nintendo nights, Nintendo nights
It was always my most favorite thing I did
Those Nintendo nights, Nintendo nights

I-I-I-I-I loved to play, I-I-I-I-I played all day
If it’s Zelda, Donkey Kong, or Super Mario
Nintendo nights, Nintendo nights
Final Fantasy, Bomberman, Punch Out or Mega Man
Nintendo nights, Nintendo ni-i-i-ights
Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights, Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights
Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights

N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights! N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights!
N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights! N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights!

There was a lot of games that I really did love
On Nintendo nights, Nintendo nights
Playing with the light gun and the power glove
Those Nintendo nights, Nintendo nights

You-you-you-you can play too
You-you-you-you can be player two
I had Game Boy, NES, Gamecube, and the DS
Nintendo nights, Nintendo nights
The SNES, Sixty-Four, Wii, Switch, and so much more
Nintendo Nights, Nintendo ni-i-i-ights
Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights, Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights
Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights

N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights! N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights!
N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights! N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights!
N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights! N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights!
Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights, Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights
Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights, Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights
(repeat)

(Purple Rain – Prince)

I never want to see you with a tattoo
And I don’t like it when you’re wearing bling
I rather just see you only with a piercing
I only want to see what you’re like with a nipple ring

Nipple ring, nipple ring, nipple ring, nipple ring
Nipple ring, nipple ring
I only want to see you wearing just a nipple ring

I know it is going to take you, some convincing
But I promise that you can just not go wrong, yeah
Baby, I’d love to watch you when you get the piercing
You know that shit would really turn me on

Nipple ring, nipple ring, nipple ring, nipple ring
Nipple ring, nipple ring
You know you would look really sexy with a nipple ring

Honey, I know, I know, I know it is painful
But if it’s going to be helping you, I’ll get one too
You say you want just one done
But you can not make up your mind
I think it will be better, to get them both done
With a nipple ring

Nipple ring, nipple ring,, yeah
Nipple ring, nipple ring, whoo
If you know what talking about here, come on, join along
Nipple ring, nipple ring
I only want to see you, I would really love you
With a nipple ring

(Oh Sherrie – Steve Perry)

COMING SOON!

(No More Tears – Ozzy Osbourne)

COMING SOON!

(Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! – Dean Martin)

Oh, the weather outside’s disgusting
It’s got everybody cussing
It feels like fifty below
No more snow, no more snow, no more snow

All the schools and stores are closing
But then my job just keeps on going
The traffic is so damned slow
No more snow, no more snow, no more snow

When it seems to stop coming down
I will spend the whole day shovelling
And just when I thought I was done
All this crap starts up again

Don’t know how people enjoy it
When I just tried to avoid it
I think I just froze off my toes
No more snow, no more snow, no more snow

When I finally get inside
That’s when I will start to cough and sneeze
This cold weather would make me cry
If all my tears wouldn’t freeze

Oh, I can’t get out the front door
‘Cause it just keeps piling up more
It’s a nonstop lousy shit show
No more snow, no more snow, no more snow

(Nobody Does It Better – Carly Simon)

Nobody writes me letters
Makes me feel like I’m a dweeb
Nobody writes me, ‘cuz they don’t want to
Everybody’s mean

They say they mailed them
But somehow they lose them
And tried to blame the mailman
They’ll find ways to avoid me, but that annoys me
‘Cuz even Ed McMahon ignores me too

And nobody writes me letters
Though sometimes junk mail I will get
Nobody writes me, or even calls me
Why does everyone forget?

The way people feel, when they open that seal
Like there’s money in that envelope
What keeps them from writing, can’t be too exciting
Why do I always feel like a dope?

‘Cause, nobody writes me letters
Makes me feel like such a fool
Nobody writes me, or even e-mails
Someone, tell me, why are, you all cruel?

Everybody’s mean, everybody’s mean
Everybody’s mean, everybody’s mean
Everybody’s mean, everybody’s mean

(Can’t Fight This Feeling – REO Speedwagon)

You’re not quite appealing any longer
You’re starting to get old and wrinkly
Your unattractiveness has gotten stronger
And your boobs are sagging right down to your knees

I tell myself that looks are just not that important
And yet I’m repulsed by the sight of you
‘Cause now you’ve gotten big as an elephant
You always have me retching, and make me vomit too

And as you’re getting older, the years have not been kind
Maybe it’s time that you admit
That you’ve gone way past your prime
And I almost feel sorry for you every time

‘Cause you’re not quite appealing anymore
You’re a broken down disgusting lazy whore
Putting up with you has been such a chore
You’re rotten to the core, and bitter
And you’re not quite appealing anymore
You’ve become a very uninteresting bore
And now I have to give you your what for
Kick your ass out the door
Sorry, you’re not quite appealing anymore

My life had been really good when I first met you
You were gorgeous and so fun to be around
Now it seems you’re depressing and ugly too, girl
‘Cause you’re making me resent you
And you’re just bringing me down
And even though I’m patient, I’m losing mine with you
‘Cause you’re getting so much dumber
And you never have a clue
You’re just not attractive, there’s nothing that you can do

Because you’re not quite appealing anymore
You’re a broken down disgusting lazy whore
Putting up with you has been such a chore
You’re rotten to the core, and bitter
And you’re not quite appealing anymore
You’ve become a very uninteresting bore
And now I have to give you your what for
Kick your ass out the door
Sorry, you’re not quite appealing anymore
Ooooh-ooooh-ooooh

(Cuts Like A Knife – Bryan Adams)

COMING SOON!

(Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da – The Beatles)

Anakin was a slave kid down on Tatooine
Qui-Gon was a master of the force
Anakin met Qui-Gon and the Naboo Queen
And good ‘ol Ben was there to keep them right on course

Ob-I-Wan, Ke-No-Bi, Jedi Knight, ah
Restless was the young padawan
Ob-I-Wan, Ke-No-Bi, Jedi Knight, ah
Everyone loves Obi-Wan

Anakin left his mother, went to Coruscant
Stood before a council of Jedis,
Qui-Gon says he’ll train him, Yoda says he can’t,
And Obi-Wan says he’ll do it as Qui-Gon dies

Ob-I-Wan, Ke-No-Bi, Jedi Knight, ah
Restless was the young padawan
Ob-I-Wan, Ke-No-Bi, Jedi Knight, ah
Everyone loves Obi-Wan

After several years, he will learn his Jedi stuff
With Palpatine trying to wipe them out
And Anakin taking it rough

Anakin and Padme, they got married
He fell to the dark side and turned mean
Padme born the twins that she carried
Ben took them away and hid out on Tatooine

Ob-I-Wan, Ke-No-Bi, Jedi Knight, ah
Reckless was that old hermit Ben
Ob-I-Wan, Ke-No-Bi, Jedi Knight
Ah, everybody’s Jedi friend

After several years, he’ll grow to be old and wise
He’ll meet up with Luke and start telling him lies

Luke left home and went with Ben to Alderaan
Rescued Leia before she was toast
Vader sliced Ben in half and then he was gone,
But then he stuck around and helped them as a ghost
Yea!

Ob-I-Wan, Ke-No-Bi, Jedi Knight, ah
Reckless was that old hermit Ben

Ob-I-Wan, Ke-No-Bi, Jedi Knight, ah
Everybody’s Jedi friend
…….and if you wanna know more
See Ob-I-Wan in Star Wars!

(Owner Of A Lonely Heart – Yes)

Excuse yourself, you always let ’em rip
Never thinking of your manners
Brace yourself, it’s just like rotten eggs
That smell hits you like a hammer
Fan yourself, the gas is lingering
Try and try to blow it out a window
Check, check yourself, I think you crapped your pants
So it smells that way

Odour of baloney farts, odour of a baloney farts
Much better than a…
Odour of a deadly fart, odour of baloney farts

Hey, that gas is so toxic, your ass must be so sore
Stop it now, you ate too many beans
Now your boxers’ getting moldy
You, cut the cheese, and then you cleared the room
And you wonder why you’re always lonely
Plug yourself, give some fresh air a chance
You got the scent of a cow

Odour of baloney farts, odour of a baloney farts
Much better than a…
Odour of a deadly fart, odour of baloney farts

Odour of baloney farts
After all your ingestion, you repulsed me so
(Odour of baloney farts)
It smells like something crawled up your ass and died
In the bathroom you should go, wipe before you flush
(Odour of baloney farts)
And don’t get constipated now, oh no

Odour of baloney farts, odour of a baloney farts
Much better than a…
Odour of a deadly fart, odour of baloney farts
Odour of baloney farts, odour of a baloney farts
Much better than a…
Odour of a deadly fart, odour of baloney farts

Odour of baloney farts, odour of baloney farts
Sooner or later Pepto-Bismol will defeat that smelly fart
(Odour of baloney farts)
It will turn, it will burn, it will rip those cheeks apart
(Odour of baloney farts)
Don’t relieve yourself anymore
Don’t relieve yourself anymore
Don’t relieve yourself anymore, just diffuse it
(Odour of baloney farts)

(One Night In Bangkok – Murray Head)

Bedrock, town of many cavemen
But it’s not the prehistoric town that you’d expect
The crème de la crème is a show
At the Hollyrock Bowl with Anne Margrock
All cars, rolling down the street
They all get moving by bare running feet
Last names, all of whom are varied
Are not what you would think to be ordinary
It’s Rockhead, or Slaghoople, or Rubble, or… Flintstone!

One night in Bedrock and you won’t feel alone
Not much to work at but the gravel pit
You’ll find that everything is made out of stone
And it seems that nobody minds a bit
‘Cause that’s pretty much the only thing you get

This town’s not like any other
When you’re seeing all of the creatures, brother
There’s pterodactyls, brontosaurus and dinosaurs
And other animals that are doing all the chores
What did you think?
That you’d see some advanced technology?
That’s the way they live,
Where everything is so damn primitive
Each week, you can always choose to go
To the lodge of the Water Buffalo
I get my kicks drinking cactus juice, sunshine

One night in Bedrock isn’t too much trouble
Not much to do except to go bowling
You’ll find that your best friend is Barney Rubble
And he always chuckles at everything
You can always hear it when the Wayouts sing

Gazoo, a little green alien
Always showing up when you really don’t need him
I don’t know why no one else can see him
Except kids and animals
And thank God the dinosaurs are pets, and don’t eat us
How does a bronto ribs order
Always makes your car tip right over?

And why is it, when you are running
You keep on going past the same things?
So where else can you go?
New rock? Holly rock? Rock vegas?

One night in Bedrock and you won’t feel alone
Not much to work at but the gravel pit
You’ll find that everything is made out of stone
And it seems that nobody minds a bit
‘Cause that’s pretty much the only thing you get

One night in Bedrock isn’t too much trouble
Not much to do except to go bowling
You’ll find that your best friend is Barney Rubble
And he always chuckles at everything
You can always hear it when the Wayouts sing

(Ordinary Average Guy – Joe Walsh)

COMING SOON!

(Count On Me – Jefferson Airplane)

COMING SOON!

(Crocodile Rock – Elton John)

I remember through my highs and lows
I was choosy about my clothes
Flannel shirts and corduroy pants
Had a turtleneck sweater that I got from my aunt
But the weirdest thing I ever bought
Was getting a pair of those out of style socks
While the other kids were mocking me a lot
I was talkin’ and walkin’ with my out of style socks, yea

Argyle socking, was always rocking
‘Cuz my feet always kept warm
I never had me a better pair, it’s the best I’ve ever worn
Oh, I remember, those fungus frights
Because my shoes were way too tight
And those out of style socks always fit right
Laa, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-laa, la-la-la-la-laa

But the years flew by and some fads just die
Corduroys had left us and so did tye-dye
Long days sighing by the washing machine
Thinking of my sweaters and my bell-bottom jeans
But it never matched the stares I got
Smellin’ up those out of style socks
All those holes and stains of grass
I really thought my out of style socks would last

Argyle socking, was always rocking
‘Cuz my feet always kept warm
I never had me a better pair, it’s the best I’ve ever worn
Oh, I remember, those fungus frights
Because my shoes were way too tight
And those out of style socks always fit right
Laa, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-laa, la-la-la-la-laa

I remember through my highs and lows
I was choosy about my clothes
Flannel shirts and corduroy pants
Had a turtleneck sweater that I got from my aunt
But the weirdest thing I ever bought
Was getting a pair of those out of style socks
While the other kids were mocking me a lot
I was talkin’ and walkin’ with my out of style socks, yea

Argyle socking, was always rocking
‘Cuz my feet always kept warm
I never had me a better pair, it’s the best I’ve ever worn
Oh, I remember, those fungus frights
Because my shoes were way too tight
And those out of style socks always fit right
Laa, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-laa, la-la-la-la-laa
Laa, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-laa, la-la-la-la-laa

(Soul Man – Sam And Dave)

COMING SOON!

(Ain’t That A Shame – Fats Domino)

You made, me faint
When you chipped, that paint
Paint that bed frame
Right on the wood grain
Paint that bed frame
With a little stain

You need, not blush
Just grab, a brush
Paint that bed frame
Right on the wood grain
Paint that bed frame
With a little stain

Dark blue, oil-based
Two coats, a waste
Paint that bed frame
Right on the wood grain
Paint that bed frame
With a little stain

You missed, a spot
You don’t paint, a lot
Paint that bed frame
Right on the wood grain
Paint that bed frame
It can be such a pain

(Paradise City – Guns ‘N Roses)

I have found me a pair of nice titties
They’re the best I’ve seen and they’re oh so pretty
Oh don’t you tease, give me more
Firm and round, it’s a pair of nice titties
They’re not too big, but they’re not itty bitty
Oh won’t you please, give me more

Searching for the right woman all my life
Somebody who will be my wife
I keep finding the ones that were just so wrong for me
I’d end up finding them to be flat as a board or too droopy
At first you were shy and quiet
But you had a great rack and tried not to hide it
You didn’t leave much to the imagination
So I really knew right there and then
The jiggling would never end

I have found me a pair of nice titties
They’re the best I’ve seen and they’re oh so pretty
Oh don’t you tease, give me more, yeah, yeah
Firm and round, it’s a pair of nice titties
They’re not too big, but they’re not itty bitty
Give me more

With those great globes of flesh that are beautiful
Cute and perky and symmetrical
You turn all the heads of every guy everywhere
I know they’re jealous of me, but I just don’t care

I have found me a pair of nice titties
They’re the best I’ve seen and they’re oh so pretty
Give me more, yeah, yeah
Firm and round, it’s a pair of nice titties
They’re not too big, but they’re not itty bitty
Oh won’t you please, give me more, yeah

So big and firm, so big and firm
So big and firm, so big and firm
People always ask me why I am with you
If there’s anything more to you than boobs
But if they’re saying there’s so much better I can do
I say they’re losing their minds, are you blind?
You’re perfect to me every time

I have found me a pair of nice titties
They’re the best I’ve seen and they’re oh so pretty
Give me more, yeah, yeah
Firm and round, it’s a pair of nice titties
They’re not too big, but they’re not itty bitty
Oh won’t you please, give me more
I have found me a pair of nice titties
They’re the best I’ve seen and they’re oh so pretty
Give me more, yeah, yeah
Firm and round, it’s a pair of nice titties
They’re not too big, but they’re not itty bitty
Oh won’t you please, give me more, more

I found the best, firm and round breasts
Oh don’t you tease, give me more
I wanna see, those nice big titties
Oh don’t you tease, give me more

I have found me a pair of nice titties
They’re the best I’ve seen and they’re oh so pretty
Oh don’t you tease, give me more
Firm and round, it’s a pair of nice titties
They’re not too big, but they’re not itty bitty
Oh won’t you please, give me more

I have found, oh yeah, firm and round
Oh won’t you please give me more
I want to see, those great big titties
So don’t you tease, give me more
I want them now, so don’t have a cow, oh, oh, give me more
I have found me a pair of nice titties
They’re the best I’ve seen and they’re oh so pretty
I want them please, give me more
(I want them, I want them, give me more)
I love those tits (I love them), love ‘em to bits (you know it)
So please don’t tease, give me more, yeah
Boobies, yeah

(Jamming – Bob Marley)

Oooh yea
Pajamas, I want pajamas in blue
Pajamas, jammies, and I hope you wear pajamas too

Underoos were cool, they made you look like a fool
But only if they were see-through
‘Cause every night you go to bed
With a night cap on your head
Jammies are the thing for you

Pajamas, I think my flannels don’t fit me no more
Pajamas, but those aren’t the only one that I wore

No undies can fit us, if it’s either boxers or if it’s briefs
Neither are comfortable
I will defend the fact that your nightgown really lacks
Your robe is sometimes downright dull

Pajamas, jammies, jammies, jammies, jammies
Pajamas are what I wear to bed
Pajamas, jammies, jammies, jammies, jammies
Pajamas I will wear ‘til I’m dead
Cotton, silk, satin, cotton, silk, satin
I’m sleeping in some satin
And it feels so damn cozy, yeah, they’re pajamas

Pajamas, I want pajamas in blue
Pajamas, jammies, and I hope you wear pajamas too

Jammies on my hide and I’ll wash them Tide
They keep me satisfied
Two pairs, that’s all I need, they’re so comfy
Loose and free, and so warm inside

Pajamas, jammies, jammies, jammies, jammies
I want pajamas in blue
Pajamas, jammies, jammies, jammies, jammies
I hope you wear Pajamas too

(Poundcake – Van Halen)

Ooooooh, yea
Yeah, you gotta have some stacks, not one or two bites
It’s so golden and fluffy, and such a delight
It’s so good, so darn good, and very filling
I like them topped with whipped cream and strawberries
For me

It’s not hard to make, and it doesn’t take too long
You take an egg or two, some good batter mix too
But there’s a short supply, ooh, of maple syrup
Let me make some, let me make some
Let me make some of that
It goes with, bacon and eggs
Let me make some, let me make some
Let me make some of that
‘Cause I really like those pancakes

So good, so darn good, it’s a breakfast treat
Throw in lots of chocolate chips or blueberries
Let me have some, some of those
Uh-huh-uh-huh-huh, uh-huh-uh-huh-huh
Give me some of those, uh-huh-uh-huh-huh
Give me some of those, uh-huh-uh-huh-huh

Oooh, that’s some really fine, pancakes

It is so fun, and it always goes with anything
It’s from Aunt Jemima
And they are really yummy pancakes

So good, so darn good, I can’t get enough
And it’s not a really difficult recipe, yea, whoo
It’s so good, so darn good, oh, that’s my pancakes
Give me some of those, uh-huh-uh-huh-huh
Uh-huh-uh-huh-huh
Give me some of those, uh-huh-uh-huh-huh
Uh-huh-uh-huh-huh

So good, so darn good, yeah, come on baby
Give me some more of, give me some more of
Make them, lots of them, yeah
Uh-huh-uh-huh-huh
Give me some more, whoo, come on, babe