I came upon a nice cold beer
A glorious drink of gold
From barmaids serving near the bar
To touch their mugs so bold
“Peace on the earth, last call to all
From the barkeep’s gracious tap”
My stool in drunken stillness lay
To hear a drunken sap

Still through that tap the beers did come
With little head on top
And still their heavenly lager flows
I wish it would never stop
Above the sad bartender’s head
There’s a flashing neon sign
Telling me to have a Budweiser
And that it’s Miller time

Oh ye within that frosty mug
Whose drink is pretty sweet
Please help take all my thirst away
With barley, hops and wheat
Look out, for here comes happy hour
Come swig some brews with me
At closing time we’ll hit the road
Stumbling home drunkenly

COMING SOON!

I can’t get no, marijuana, I can’t get no, marijuana
‘Cause I tried, and I tried, how I tried, to get fried
I can’t get no, I can’t get no…

When I’m sitting back at home, and my buzz is slowly coming down
You’re telling me that we’re out
Because we smoked up our last quarter
I’ll have to put in another order, I can’t get none, oh no, oh no
Hey, hey, hey, need weed today

I can’t get no, marijuana, I can’t get no, marijuana
‘Cause I tried, and I tried, how I tried, to get fried
I can’t get no, I can’t get no…

Then I’m calling my dealer, and he tells me that I’m out of luck
His supply has run dry
Well he can’t be all out ‘cause I saw him smoke
A couple of joints today, I can’t get none, oh no, oh no
Hey, hey, hey, what can I say?

I can’t get no, marijuana, I can’t get none, when I wanna
‘Cause I tried, and I tried, how I tried, to get fried
I can’t get no, I can’t get no…

Now I’m going town to town
And I’m asking here and I’m begging there
‘Cause I’m trying to score some dope
And everyone says, better come back later this week
‘Cause their dealer just got busted you see
I can’t get none, oh no, oh no
Hey, hey, hey, no weed today

I can’t get no, I can’t get no
I can’t get no marijuana
No marijuana, no marijuana
No marijuana, I can’t get none…

COMING SOON!

If you’re wondering where that smell is coming from
It’s my pits or my unwashed bum, I don’t bathe anymore
Well I don’t like using any soaps or shampoo
It’s just something I know that I’ll never do
I don’t bathe anymore, I don’t bathe anymore
I don’t bathe, or shower, I just don’t smell like a flower

‘Cause I couldn’t be bothered to be wasting any time
I just rather be covered with grease and grime, I don’t bathe anymore
And you can tell everyone that I smell like ass
Doesn’t matter, I’m already an outcast
I don’t bathe anymore, I don’t bathe anymore

I don’t care, what you say, I won’t change the way I am, anyways
I won’t be clean anymore, so stop judging me, let me be
There are better things to do with water
I don’t bathe anymore, I don’t bathe anymore
I don’t bathe anymore, I don’t bathe anymore

Well I don’t smell my own b.o., ‘cause I just know
I’m immune to my own stench
And I seen people run away, hey
Maybe they don’t like my scent, well too bad

Yes I know I’m always covered with dirt and sweat
But that’s not a good reason to get myself wet
I don’t bathe anymore
And it’s true that I’m single, I always might be
When it comes to cleaning, I’m just so damn lazy

I don’t bathe anymore, is that clear? I don’t bathe anymore
I won’t bathe, any day, I never believed in hygiene anyway
I have no friends anymore, they’re out of my league
‘Cause they bathe
I’ve got better things to do with my day, I don’t bathe anymore
You smell? I don’t bathe anymore, I don’t bathe no more
You understand? I don’t bathe no more, no more!

You know I won’t bath no more, won’t bathe no more
No more no more no more
Won’t bathe no more, no more, no more
No more, no more, no more, no more
No more, no more, no more, no more, no more
No more, no more, no more, no more
No more, no more, no more, no more, no more
No more, no more, no more, no more

COMING SOON!

I hate my room, but I can be fussy
I see my shelves, they often look dusty
I grab a cloth, and I start the wiping
Gotta do it now, or I will start the griping

I don’t need, anybody’s help
When it comes to cleaning, I dust my shelves
Ooh, I don’t need, anybody’s help, oh no, oh no

I’m the one, the one who’s obsessive
I try to keep things so clean
I am just a, little expressive, it’s how I’ve always been
I like my shelves, I wish they were bigger
I’d fill them right up, with my Star Wars figures
I make them shine, like I always just got them
I’ll get down on my knees, so I can clean the bottom

I know you, don’t sound too compelled
But I really love when, I dust my shelves
Oooh, I know you, don’t sound too compelled
Oh no, oh no, oh no

I bought myself, a big feather duster
When there’s too much, I’ll use my Dust buster
I’ll take some pledge, and spray it all over
It keeps off the dust, makes the wood grain look bolder
I just love, that lemony smell
When I get excited, I dust my shelves
Ooh, I just love, that lemony smell, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

I hate dust, I don’t know about yourself
But when I am cleaning, I dust my shelves
Oh, oh, oooh, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

I don’t need, anybody’s help
When it comes to cleaning, I dust my shelves
Ooh, I know you, don’t sound too compelled
But I really love when, I dust my shelves

I dust my shelves, I dust my shelves
I dust my shelves, I dust my shelves

I dust my shelves, I dust my shelves, I dust my shelves

I thoroughly do  (repeat)

I gave some moonshine to my wife
That’s why she’s stumbling around
And she’ll just babble on all night
Then she’ll fall face first on the ground

I feel this has become a problem
Because now she says that she wants more
I swear this doesn’t happen often
And I’ll clean up the puke that’s on the floor, whoa, oh, oh, ooh

I gave some moonshine to my wife, yea
I made it from my basement still, mmm mmm, yea yea
And now I’m very mortified
I guess it wasn’t such a thrill

I should have known that she’d get plastered
Because she gets drunk off one beer
And she must think that I’m a bastard
Because all our friends think she’s very weird
Whoa, oh, oh, ooh

I gave some moonshine to my wife, yeah
And now I wish I never had, mmm mmm yea baby
She says she doesn’t feel all right
I think that batch she had was bad

I gave some moonshine to my wife, really
That’s why she’s stumbling around…

Tonight, I’m gonna make your dreams come true
That’s what I get, paid all the big bucks to do
And tonight, I’m gonna pour on my smooth charm
‘Cause girl I was hired to be, the eye candy on your arm

I get paid for lovin’ you baby, extra charge for lovin’ me
And I will make a lot off you baby, can you really afford me?

Tonight, I’ll take you anywhere you want
To the finest, big time classy restaurants
And tonight, you can call me your new boyfriend
Call me whenever you want, how much you willing to spend?

I get paid for lovin’ you baby, I can be your gigolo
And I am worth every single penny
Just make sure you have the dough
I get paid for lovin’ you baby, set up through the agency
Your contract states that I’ll be your baby, so we do this legally

Ooooh, I charge alot, oh, oh
I don’t make enough, oh, oh
I can’t get enough, yea

I get paid for lovin’ you baby, extra charge for lovin’ me
And I will make a lot off you baby, can you really afford me?
Oh, I get paid, you get laid
You can’t get enough, no, you can’t pay enough

I get paid for lovin’ you baby, I can be your gigolo
And I am worth every single penny
Just make sure you have the dough
I get paid for lovin’ you baby, extra charge for lovin’ me

Some can hear me coming down the street
There’s no way that I can be discreet
You’ll see toes before the rest of me
But I feel like a freak

I got big feet, I got big feet
I got big feet, yeah, really big feet

I get my shoes ordered custom size
But I guess that comes as no surprise
I am bigger than the average guy
I’m really not sure why

I got big feet, I got big feet
I got big feet, yeah, freakish big feet

People always stepping on my toes
Seems that’s the way that it always goes
It could be a whole lot worse I suppose
I could have a big nose

‘Cause I got big feet, I got big feet
Such big ass feet, yeah, I got them!

I got big feet, I got big feet, I got big feet
Everybody, look at these feet
(I got big feet) you know what they say ‘bout big feet
(I got big feet) they wear, really
(I got big feet) really big-ass shoes, whooo!

(I got big feet) I got big feet, (I got big feet) I got big feet
(I got big feet) I got big feet, (I got big feet) I got big feet
(I got big feet) (I got big feet) I got big feet, (I got big feet)
(I got big feet) I got big feet!

COMING SOON!

Don’t be judging me, because I can’t trust, anybody
Between you and me, I can seriously see
That things will always seem cruddy
Some think I am weird, ‘cause I won’t go out for months
And it won’t take long, to see this world is wrong
I’ve been disillusioned more than once

And I guess that’s why I am a recluse
I will just hide, with my shotgun and booze
Hatred and violence, bad terrorism
Dishonest people, dumb politicians
And I guess that’s why I am a recluse

I stay in my space, ‘cause I can’t face, anyone
Every second, it’s such aggravation
To see what this world has become
I have no friends, and it’s all because of me
‘Cause more than ever, I simply cannot, take all this reality

And I guess that’s why I am a recluse
I am alone, but that’s the life that I choose
I don’t like people, people don’t like me
A wife and children, doesn’t excite me
And I guess that’s why I am a recluse

It’s a mad world, I avoid it all I can
Now more than ever, I won’t be social
It’s just the way that I am

And I guess that’s why I am a recluse
It’s got so bad, that I can’t watch the news
Death and destruction, selfishness and greed
Divided nations, shows on TLC
And I guess that’s why I am a recluse

(I don’t like people, people don’t like me)
And I guess that’s why I am a recluse
(A wife and children, doesn’t excite me)
And I guess that’s why I am a recluse
And I guess that’s why I am a recluse

Eating rats, on some island
Just to win one million bucks
Wish they would stop this reality trend
That lame host and all those desperate shmucks

Too many times, we hear on the news
Who got voted off yet who cares
What I want to see are chicks in the nude
What we get are guys with body hair

Because, I hate Survivor, it’s a really bad show
Yet rises up to the top of the ratings
And the last dumb survivor is some fat naked shmoe
And they’re watching it all, but yet I, hate Survivor

Backstabbing, whining, crying
Unwashed clothes, skanky leg sores
Can’t avoid it, and I’m really trying
I don’t know what all the hype is for

Yes I, still hate Survivor, and the dumb sequels too
I wish a croc would come up and devour them
No matter where they have it, it still is a big snooze
Still everyone’s watching and yet I, hate Survivor

Twenty years, forty seasons
Tell me why, it’s still going
Had its glory, now there is no reason
To keep this tedious show alive

Because, I hate Survivor, it’s a really dumb show
Yet rises up to the top of the ratings
It will go on forever, guess they won’t let it go
But it doesn’t matter because I, hate Survivor

I hate Survivor, I hate Survivor
I hate Survivor, I hate Survivor

I saw her today at the Cantina, a blaster right by her side
She went to the pod race arena, and said that she needed a ride
I just can’t get to Coruscant, I just can’t get to Coruscant
I just can’t get to Coruscant
If the force is with you, well, you might cruise, the whole galaxy

So I went out on Hoth’s frozen wastelands
And found myself on a Tauntaun
There was Wampas all over the place, man
If I stayed I would have froze off my damned wontons
I just can’t get to Coruscant, I just can’t get to Coruscant
I just can’t get to Coruscant
If the force is with you, well
You just might cruise, the whole galaxy

Oh baby, yea, I went to the swamps of Dagobah
But my ship sank in the muck
I met up with a wise old Jedi master
And he wished me a lot of luck
I decided to fly out to Cloud City, just to get out of, asteroids
Leia said she’s not a committee, yeah
And Lando asked me, ‘what happened to your droid?’
Then I told him…
I just can’t get to Coruscant, I just can’t get to Coruscant
I just can’t get to Coruscant
If the force is with you, you just might cruise
The whole galaxy, oh yea, whoo
The whole galaxy, yea, oh baby

I saw her again on a forest moon, on a speeder bike she did ride
I knew we would meet up with the Ewoks soon
Well, then they made us part of the tribe
I just can’t get to Coruscant, I just can’t get to Coruscant
I just can’t get to Coruscant
If the force is with you, you just might cruise
You might get through, the whole galaxy, oh yes

I just can’t get to Coruscant, I just can’t get to Coruscant
I just can’t get to Coruscant
If the force is with you, you just might cruise
You might get through, the whole galaxy, oooh yes

COMING SOON!

For too long, I’d be mostly ignored by women, for too long
And the feeling that I get from them is loathing anger
No sympathy
If I pretend to be more what they’re looking for
Then maybe they’ll give in

So then I, I would start saying that I am filthy rich
I also tell them that I work as a secret agent, just like James bond
If I keep up with these lies, I’ll be idolized, by so many women

I-I-I, I just want to seem more interesting
My life is boring and I never do a lot
It’s easier for me to be someone that I am not
Oh, and I, if I say I’m a famous actor , then they’ll swoon
I am enjoying this too much to stop lying
Everybody wins, when I’m more interesting

Oh yeah, it went on, I’d be a rock star or bullfighter, then move on
I’d be saying that I was a former wartime soldier, or a doctor
If I’d tell the girls I meet that I am loyalty
Then what’s the harm in that?

I-I-I, I just want to seem more interesting
It’s much better to be a pilot or athlete
Who would have thought that I
Would gain so much from my deceit?
Oh yea, I, I find these roles are more exciting than my life
I know all this lying can be a hurtful thing
It means everything to seem more interesting
Oooh interesting

I-I-I, I just want to seem more interesting
My life is boring and I never do a lot
It’s easier for me to be someone that I’m not
Oh, and I, if I say I’m a famous actor , then they’ll swoon
I am enjoying this too much to stop lying
‘Cause everybody wins, when I’m more interesting
Oh, I just want to seem more interesting

COMING SOON!

I know there’s clouds, I know it’s windy
I knew the string, seemed too flimsy
Yet there it goes, off in the distance
Right through the city, through streets and tunnels
People were laughing, some they took pity
They were so mean, to my dismay
I lost my kite, I need a new one
I lost my kite babe, it flew away

Deep down inside, I knew it’s stupid
To even try, to fly today
But still I tried, despite the bad weather
I thought I’d keep trying, but my grip gave away
So there it goes girl, I am so screwed now
It was a nice gift, for my birthday
I lost my kite, what can I do now?
I lost my kite babe, it’s gone away

I’ve seen the wind, I know it’s gusty (gusty)
Oooh, I know my kite skills are rusty
So there it goes, it must be heading (heading)
Up to the heavens (heavens)

I lost my kite (I lost my kite), now I’m heartbroken
Who knows, it might, come back someday
Into the night (into the night), over the ocean
I lost my kite, babe, it blew away

I lost my kite, it’s disappointing
It was so nice, a great display
I’m not too bright, I should stop moaning
I lost my kite, babe, it flew away

Ooooh, I lost my kite (I lost my kite), it’s not meant to be
I can’t fly it, what can I say?
It is alright (It is alright), I have my Frisbee
I lost my kite, babe, it blew away

Oooh, oooh, it blew away

I love my nightlight, it’s very groovy
It lights up my room, oh yeah
Yes, I really love my nightlight, it shaped like Scooby
Scooby Dooby Doo, oh yeah

Please don’t talk about bogeymen
Please don’t tell me scary things
You should know what that does to me
Because I scare so easily
Now don’t you go start filling up my head with thoughts
Of the creatures under my bed
I want something that can help me see
I want a, nightlight, then I can sleep
Nightlight, I just plug it right in, Illumination, and satisfaction too

Oh I, I-I-I, oooh I, I love my nightlight, it is a beauty
It’s on every night, oh yeah
Yes, I really love my nightlight, some think I’m looney
It’s the light of my life, oh yea

When I wake up and have to pee, I find it’s way too dark to see
Sometimes I can’t find the door, and I trip over stuff on the floor
You can buy me lamps and glowy things
But we both know, blah, it’s not the same thing
I need something to make me feel safe
I need some, comfort, that’s what I crave
Comfort, and some security, my friends will see it
They’re gonna want one too

Oh I, I-I-I, oooh I, I love my nightlight, it may sound kooky
It makes me feel good, oh yeah
Yes, I really love my nightlight, now it’s not spooky
Like it always should, oh yeah

Oh, I love my nightlight, it’s very groovy
It lights up my room, oh yeah
Yes, I really love my nightlight, it shaped like Scooby
Scooby Dooby Doo, oh yeah

I love my nightlight, it is a beauty
It’s on every night, oh yeah
Yes, I really love my nightlight, some think I’m looney
It’s the light of my life, oh yea

COMING SOON!

You know that beef we ate was, a little dry
And I need something to go, on top of my fries
I’m getting sick of ketchup
And steak sauce makes me throw up
It should be more beefy, and a little moist

I think I need…
(I need, I need gravy) I need lots of gravy
(My beef, and chicken gravy) pour gravy all over
(I need, I need gravy) I need gravy now
(That thick and beefy gravy) Whoa-oh-oh-oh

You made me so much, baby, just watch it flow
I’ll grab the handle from the, big gravy boat
You can drown my potatoes, I don’t care where else it goes
It can use some Bovril too, hope that there’s no lumps

So make some please…
(I need, I need gravy) I need lots of gravy
(My beef, and chicken gravy) pour gravy all over
(I need, I need gravy) I need gravy now
(That thick and beefy gravy) Whoa-oh-oh-oh

So come on, I need…
(I need, I need gravy) I need lots of gravy
(My beef, and chicken gravy) pour gravy all over
(I need, I need gravy) I need gravy now
(That thick and beefy gravy) Whoa-oh-oh-oh

(I need, I need gravy) I need lots of gravy
(My beef, and chicken gravy) oooh, oh, oh
(I need, I need gravy) oooh, oh, oh
(That thick and beefy gravy) Whoa-oh-oh-oh
(I need, I need gravy) oooh, oh, oh
(My beef, and chicken gravy) oooh, oh, oh
(I need, I need gravy) I need gravy now

My boxers never seem to fit
I wear out every pair I get
Sometimes I find it hard to sit, I need underwear

When the weather gets too hot
My gonads seem to sweat a lot,
But baby, there’s pain in my crotch, I need underwear

I’m so tired of wearing Jockey, I would love some Calvin Klein
Won’t you buy me pairs of BVDs?

Everybody’s, got some undies, to put on
I need undies, lots of pairs, of clean ones

My Underoos, now seem so lame
And they always had those stains
I always had a thing for Hanes, I need underwear

I’ve had some trousers, slacks and jeans
They keep falling off of me
Everything’s way too loose and free, I need underwear

I’m so tired of wearing Jockey, I would love some Calvin Klein
Won’t you buy me pairs of BVDs?

Everybody’s, got some undies, to put on
I need undies, lots of pairs, of clean ones

I’ve tried boxers, shorts and the rest
But my Fruit Of The Looms were the best
Oh, who would have ever guessed, I need underwear

COMING SOON!

COMING SOON!

I’ll get shoes while you get clothes and he gets toys
And we all shop together
See how we run down aisle twenty-one, see how we buy
I’m shopping
Sitting by the front doors, waiting ‘til they open up
Seven dollar T-shirts, every single Tuesday
You can’t use your credit cards, you ran your limit up

You shop at Target (eww), they shop at K-Mart (eww)
I shop at Walmart, let’s go today

See that peppy salesclerk standing at her
Open salesclerk register
See how we buy, some sports and art supplies
See how we spend
I’m shopping, I’m shopping, I’m shopping, I’m shopping
Furniture and curtains, linens, books and jewellery
Grab a shopping buggy, fill them up with specials
Yes, I’ve seen the flyers now, I cut the coupons out

You shop at Target (eww), they shop at K-Mart (eww)
I shop at Walmart, let’s shop all day

Walking through the men’s department
Looking for some slacks
If I can’t afford it, I’ll be okay, I’ll put it on layaway

You shop at Target (eww), they shop at K-Mart (eww)
I shop at Walmart, let’s go today, let’s spend away

Spring coats, toy boats, hardware, kid’s wear
Can’t you see underwear is on sale?
Get dinner plates for 3.98, see how they sell, I’m saving
Home and garden centre, watching out for falling prices
Televisions, CDs, videogames, DVDs
Man, you gotta see  what’s on the blue light special now

You shop at Target (eww), they shop at K-Mart (eww)
I shop at Walmart, let’s go today, and spend away
Let’s go today, and shop all day
And spend away, away, away, away

I’m-a breaking wind on the, fouton
It smelled so raw and it, was strong
I snapped your bra ‘cuz it’s, so fun

I’m making lunch with no, clothes on
Quick Draw McGraw can yell, Ka-Bong!
I snapped your bra ‘cuz it’s, so fun

I’m acting silly and it feels so good
Although it might be wrong
I’m doing stuff I never thought I would
I snapped your bra ‘cuz it’s, so fun
I snapped your bra ‘cuz it’s, so fun

I’m ringing doorbells and then, I run
I got your Ma with a, ding dong
I snapped your bra ‘cuz it’s, so fun

I’m watching T.V. on the, front lawn
I like Hee Haw ‘cuz it’s so spun,
I snapped your bra ‘cuz it’s, so fun

I’m acting silly and it feels so good
Although it might be wrong
I’m doing stuff I never thought I would
I snapped your bra ‘cuz it’s, so fun
I snapped your bra ‘cuz it’s, so fun

COMING SOON!

I want a clock (clock), I want a clock (clock)
I need a clock (clock), I want a clock (clock)

I don’t know the time, so don’t you ever ask me again
Because I will never know (know), no, no, no, no, no
Every time I’m late, you know it’s not my fault
And there’s nothing I can do
So let it go (go), go, go, go, go, go
Now when you ask me why I always lose track of time
I’ll just keep telling the same thing to you

I want a clock (clock), I want a clock (clock)
I need a clock (clock), I want a clock (clock)

I don’t know the time
I’ve been staring at my wall for so very long
It causes me so much woe (woe)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
I see daylight now, but I can’t tell if it’s morning or afternoon
And that really blows (blows)
Blows, blows, blows, blows, blows
So even though I’ll likely show up late for Christmas
There is only one gift that I want from you

I want a clock (clock), I want a clock (clock)
I need a clock (clock), I want a clock (clock)
I want a clock (clock), clock (clock), clock (clock)
I want a clock (clock), clock (clock), clock (clock)
I want a clock (clock), clock (clock), clock (clock)
I want a clock (clock), clock (clock), clock (clock)
I need a clock!

I want a clock (clock), I want a clock (clock)
I need a clock (clock), I want a clock (clock)
I want a clock (clock), clock (clock), clock (clock)
I want a clock (clock), clock (clock), clock (clock)
I want a clock (clock)

COMING SOON!

I want to rake leaves, I want to rake leaves
I want to rake leaves from the yard, ‘til it’s all nice and clear
We don’t need them, I want to rake leaves
God knows, god knows we have to rake leaves

There’s too many trees, there’s too many trees around the house
And autumn it makes a huge mess, there’s too many trees, yeah
I know, why don’t we chop down the trees?

A pain in the ass, I can’t get over stuff always covering our grass
So I have to be sure, that the path’s not obscured
That’s why I have to rake leaves, baby
Oh how I want to rake leaves, oh how we need to rake leaves

It’s almost winter, and I’m still out there cleaning it up
Cleaning it up, cleaning up the yard, everyday
I don’t think that I’ll finish, yea
God knows, I reached the three bag limit
So baby now you see, we have to rake leaves

I got to rake leaves, I want to rake leaves
I want, I want, I want, I want to rake… leaves

I wish I could afford Christmas, I wish I could afford Christmas
I wish I could afford Christmas, but so sorry, I’m broke

No gifts I can get, ‘cause I am in debt
I still make payments for Christmas, from the last seven years

Don’t give me a Christmas wish list
Don’t give me a Christmas wish list
Don’t give me a Christmas wish list, you won’t get a thing

You all will get squat, it’s all that I got
Everything is too expensive and I’ll end up owing

I’m sure you’re expecting something
I’m sure you’re expecting something
I’m sure you’re expecting something, guess it sucks to be you

Stop dropping those hints, and calling me Grinch
Everyone is so damn greedy, but that is no surprise

It’s not all about the shopping, it’s not all about the shopping
It’s not all about the shopping, but nobody will learn

Can’t even afford, crap from dollar stores
I don’t know why I should bother, everything gets returned

I wish I could afford Christmas, I wish I could afford Christmas
I wish I could afford Christmas but you’re shit out of luck

And I would do anything for drugs, I’d run to the corner and back
I would do anything for drugs
I’m always up to try some different crap
But I’ll never forget the buzz I feel right now…..oh no, no way
‘Cause I would do anything for drugs, but I won’t do crack
No, I won’t do crack
Anything for drugs, oh I would do anything for drugs
I would do anything for drugs, but I won’t do crack
No I won’t do crack

Well some days the high comes easy, and sometimes it hits me hard
Sometimes I just get too stoned, and this is the buzz that never ends
There’s some nights I’m doing shrooms
And some nights I’m smoking grass
Some nights I’m just brewing the B.T.’s, with a brick of gold seal hash

Yes maybe I’m fucked up, oh I’m wasted and I’m fried
I know you can tempt me, nothing else can make me satisfied
As long as the doobies are burning, as long as you have the yearning
As long as our eyes are turning red, you better believe it

That I would do anything for drugs
I’d smoke a bong and then I would hack
I would do anything for drugs, and I know my lungs are turning black
But I’d never forgive myself if I’m sticking in my veins…..the pain!
And I would do anything for drugs, oh I would do anything for drugs
Yes I would do anything for drugs, but I won’t do crack
No I won’t do crack

I would do anything for drugs, anything you’ve been smokin’ up
But I just won’t do crack
I would do anything for drugs, anything you’ve been smokin’ up
But I just won’t do crack
I would do anything for drugs, anything you’ve been smokin’ up
But I just won’t do…

There’s sometimes I pray for a bong, and sometimes I’d pray for bowls
Sometimes I pray to God for more sex and drugs and rock ‘n’ roll
And sometimes I’d do some mushrooms, and sometimes I’d drop acid
Sometimes I just find myself, doing things that I wish I never did

Now maybe I’m hungry, ‘cause I’m sure I have the munchies
Now I’m feeling lazy, it must be from smoking all this weed
As long as I have my roach clip, as long as I have some good shit
As long as we keep on smoking it up, you better believe it

Yes, I would do anything for drugs, and you know I’d do a super toke
I would do anything for drugs, there’s no limit what I can smoke
But I’ll never want to touch that rock or even try to free-base…..a waste!
And I would do anything for drugs, oh I would do anything for drugs
Yes I would do anything for drugs, but I won’t do crack
No, no, no, I won’t do crack

I would do anything for drugs, anything you’ve been smokin’ up
But I just won’t do crack
I would do anything for drugs, anything you’ve been smokin’ up
But I just won’t do crack
I would do anything for drugs, anything you’ve been smokin’ up
But I just won’t do crack
I would do anything for drugs, anything you’ve been smokin’ up
But I just won’t do crack
I would do anything for drugs, anything you’ve been smokin’ up
But I just won’t do crack
I would do anything for drugs, anything you’ve been smokin’ up
But I just won’t do crack
I would do anything for drugs, anything you’ve been smokin’ up
But I just won’t do…

But I’d never stop tokin’ with you every day of my life…..no way!
And I would do anything for drugs, oh I would do anything for drugs
Yes I would do anything for drugs, but I won’t do crack, no I won’t do crack

Will it lift me up when I’m feeling down?
Will it help me to get rid of my antisocial frown?
Will it help me feel a little less sad?
(It can do that, it can do that)

Will it get me laughing, will it make me bawl?
Can it improve on my life, I’m so sick of alcohol
Can it make me feel a little calmer?
(It can do that, oh yes, it will do that)

Will you roll me a doobie with your killer grass?
Will it even get us more stoned if we add some hash?
Can you give me some that I can take home?
(I can do that, I will do that)

Will you help me with all this bloodshot in my eyes?
Will ya bring me down to reality, if I get too high? (High!)
If I get the munchies will you give me food?
(I can do that, I can do that)

After a while we’ll be losing our buzz
We could just smoke some more, but is it really enough?
Now I think we need something more strong
(I won’t do that, I won’t do that)

I know the drug dealers, I’ve been around
I’ll get us some rock from this guy downtown
Grab us a crack pipe, we’ll be going to town
(I won’t do crack, no I won’t do crack)

Anything for drugs, oh I would do anything for drugs
I would do anything for drugs, but I won’t do crack
No I won’t do crack…

COMING SOON!

COMING SOON!

Yes I’m, bare, look, I’m bare, I am exposed
Never really liked my clothing
So I, sure enough just stripped it all right off
I’m bare, natural, I’m naked, I have no clothes
Never was much of a nudist
But I, like when my balls flap in the breeze

Heard some people shouting
Something about me having no shame
And no more, mowing my lawn in the buff
When someone comes to visit
I’ll always answer the door au naturel
When I order food, they think I’m rude
They don’t understand how great it feels, to always be nude

‘Cause I’m, bare, natural, I’m naked, I have no clothes
Never was much of a nudist
Now I, like when my balls flap in the breeze

Pardon my protrusion, my junk seems to stick out everywhere
I seem to, always get it caught in doors
Looked into nude resorts, ‘cause I wanted to play naked shuffleboard
I can’t get enough, it’s such fun stuff
To do just about everything
Loose and free and natural, in the buff

I’m bare, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I am exposed
Never really liked my clothing
So I, sure enough just stripped it all right off
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

I’m bare, you know I’m stripping
I’m shedding all my clothes and inhibitions, until I’m nude
Never cared what folks thought of me
Just as, long as they’re not calling the cops

Come on now, don’t be so shy you can come join me
You see me working, you see me playing
I do everything the same, but with no clothes
Never was much of a nudist
But I, like when my balls flap in the breeze
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

COMING SOON!

I’m not bright, I’m sure everyone can see
I don’t know my left from my right, and I can’t count past three
I’m not bright, and I have never claimed to be
I like to sunbathe at night, and everyone laughs at me

Say what you want, I have heard everything
It doesn’t  bother me, I just won’t understand
All my life, I’ve always been a ding-a-ling
I can’t figure out toilets, and doubt I ever can

I flunked out of preschool, no, no, never learned to write or read
Some ‘special fella’ kid, everyone thinks I am a knob
(Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh)

I’m not bright, and my parents were dimwits too
My dad was a transvestite, and my mom liked to sniff glue
I’m not bright, I cannot even dress myself
My IQ score is a fright, and I work at Taco Bell

Who should I blame, for how I have ended up
Is it society, or me dropped on my head?
(Dropped right on his head)
I like to wash my eyes with bleach
And lick my pits while I masturbate
And I go bowling in the nude, listenin’ for the…
Oh, ice cream man, oh, ice cream man
Oh, ice cream man, oh, ice cream man!

Never went to high school, but I, had dog training
Some say I’m smelly too, and I’m always drooling a lot
(Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh)
I’m (dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb)

I’m not bright, I wear undies on my feet
I bang my head every night, and put white-out on my teeth
I’m not bright, and I’m also not too smart
I’m wearing my hats way too tight, and I shop at Walmart
I’m not bright, I’m sure everyone can see
I don’t know my left from my right, and I can’t count past three

I’m not bright, I’m not bright, I’m not bright, you all can see
I’m not bright, I’m not bright, I’m not bright, you all can see
Just make sure that I don’t breed

COMING SOON!