Smoked some pot, I smoked a lot
Enjoyed the trip then I forgot
Damn it, I’m coming down
Got so high, really fried
Now I’m tired and my mouth is really dry
Damn it, I’m coming down

I got real baked and it felt so good, yeah
But now this really blows, yeah
Was amused, a bit confused, that was two hours ago

It was a score, I wanted more
Now nothing is funny no more
Damn it, I’m coming down
I had more hits, of that fine spliff
But now everything has turned to shit
Damn it, I’m coming down

Had some grass, and mixed it with hash
A beautifully rolled joint, yea
Now all I see is reality
Makes you wonder what’s the point?
I’ve gotten stoned so many times
And every time it is the best
But I don’t like it when my buzz wears off
Cause damn it, damn it, I’m coming do-oo-own
I’m coming do-oo-own

I mellowed out and I talked a lot
And I had the munchies too, yea
I ate some food then lost the mood
There was nothing I could do
I had a lot of energy, now all I want to do is sleep
Guess I’ll have to smoke a whole lot more

Cause damn it, damn it, I’m coming do-oo-own
I’m coming do-oo-own
I’m coming do-oo-own, I’m coming do-oo-own

From up here in the North Pole, it is always so very c-cold
So we all keep ourselves warm, by dancing up quite a storm
I’m dancing with an elf
When there’s nothing else to do, I put on my dancing boots
Reindeer look at me, and think that I’m crazy
‘Cause I’m dancing with an elf

Ho-ho, dancing with an elf, ho-ho, dancing with an elf, ho-ho
Even though they are short
I’m gonna dance some more, ho-ho
I’ll be dancing with an elf, ho-ho, ho-ho

‘Cause I, fly all over the world, and give toys to boys and girls
But when my job’s done, I’ll go have some fun
And start dancing with an elf
Some will think that I am weird
‘Cause they fall short of my beard
But those little dudes, really know how to move
So I’ll be dancing with an elf

Ho-ho, dancing with an elf, ho-ho, dancing with an elf, ho-ho
Mrs. Claus, she can’t dance, so why not take a chance, ho-ho
And go dancing with an elf, ho-ho, ho-ho
Ho-ho, ho-ho-ho, ho-ho, ho-ho, ho-ho, ho-ho

Well, when they’re not busy making toys
We get down and make some noise
When the music blasts, I get off my ass
And start dancing with an elf
So let’s raise this toy shop’s roof
All the reindeers stomp their hooves
The elves are hoppin’, and this north pole’s rocking
‘Cause I am dancing with an elf

Ho-ho, dancing with an elf, ho-ho, dancing with an elf
If I had a wish, I’d dance every Christmas
If I had a wish, I’d dance every Christmas
If I had a wish, I’d dance every Christmas
Ho-ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho-ho
Ho-ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho-ho
Dancing with an elf, ho-ho, dancing with an elf, ho-ho
Dancing with an elf, ho-ho, dancing with an elf, ho-ho

Yes I, fly all over the world, and give toys to boys and girls
But when my job’s done, I’ll go have some fun
And start dancing with an elf
So let’s spread some yuletide cheer
‘Cause we’ll do this every year
Well they may be small, but they have a ball
So I’ll be dancing with an elf

Ho-ho, dancing with an elf, ho-ho, dancing with an elf
If I had a wish, I’d dance every Christmas
If I had a wish, I’d dance every Christmas
If I had a wish, I’d dance every Christmas
Ho-ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho-ho
Ho-ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho-ho
(Dancing with an elf, ho-ho, dancing with an elf, ho-ho)
Oooh and I’ll go ho, I’ll go ho, I’ll go ho
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ho, ho, ho, ho
Hohohoho  ooooh!

Darth Maul, in a Star Wars movie, Sith guy, doing evil duties
So mean, he’s got himself a double-ended saber – yea
Dark side, working for Palpatine, can’t hide, even on Tatooine
Darth Maul, riding his Sith Infiltrator

Oooh he wants to have a duel, a lightsaber duel,
You know that he’s Darth Maul, and man, is he ever cruel
His master’s talking to him, talking all about destroying,
There is absolutely no doubt, he wants to wipe them all out
He’s doing all that he can do, battling it out on Naboo
He makes things fly, has creepy yellow eyes,
Now at last he will reveal himself to the Jedi

Darth Maul, in a Star Wars movie, Sith guy, doing evil duties
So mean, he’s got himself a double-ended saber – yea
Dark side, working for Palpatine, can’t hide, even on Tatooine
Darth Maul, riding his Sith Infiltrator

Yes, he’s evil, he’s really evil, he’s ready for a battle
Got horns like a cattle
Yes, he’s evil, so very evil, there’s black and red
All over his head
And he won’t stop until almost everyone is dead

Darth Maul, in a Star Wars movie, Sith guy, doing evil duties
So mean, he’s got himself a double-ended saber – yea
Dark side, working for Palpatine, can’t hide, even on Tatooine
Darth Maul, riding his Sith Infiltrator

Yes, he’s evil, he’s really evil, this is where his fun begins
At last he will have revenge
Yes, he’s evil, so freakin’ evil, he killed Qui Gon
Fought with Obi-Wan,
Got sliced in half and the poor bastard is so gone

Darth Maul, in a Star Wars movie, Sith guy, doing evil duties
So mean, he’s got himself a double-ended saber – yea
Dark side, working for Palpatine, can’t hide, even on Tatooine
Darth Maul, riding his Sith Infiltrator

I took a course in marijuana, I went to rehab for DT’s
I sold some stuff I didn’t wanna, even all of my DVDs
But it’s all for some grass, or maybe even some ‘cid
He could have some Gold Seal hash
I was an old stoner who had to do what he did

Until I met my, dealer…who taught me how to toke
My, dealer…..who would always puff and choke
He was a, healer…..who always had some shit to smoke
Because here comes a joint and we’ll be tokin’ all our cares away

I’ve had some bad trips that I’m not proud of
Some drugs are never what they seem
I need some good stuff that I’m out of
I thank God that this isn’t a dream

I have my, dealer…who taught me how to toke
My, dealer…..who would always puff and chok
He was a, healer…..who always had some shit to smoke, yea
Because here comes a joint and we’ll be tokin’ all our cares away

The drunks chug whiskey and drink all their bottles dry
I’ll be, getting us a ‘lil frisky and if we don’t just do it, yeah
I think I’m gonna cry

It makes no sense acting normal
There’s too much bloodshot in our eyes
I have my, dealer…who taught me how to toke
My, dealer…..who would always puff and choke
He was a, healer…..who always had some shit to smoke
Oh, oh, oh, oh, yea
Because here comes a joint , I’ll light it up
Ain’t no doubt about it, gonna fuck you right up

Bla, bla, bla, bla, bla..

Oh, what a bitch, late December back in ninety-four
What a very irritating whore, I just can’t stand her, what a bitch

(Oh what a bitch) I knew that she was such a major pain
And she was always driving me insane
What a dimwit, what a bitch

Oh I, got a nauseous feeling when she came in my life
Oh my, I wish that I had taken friends’ advice

(Oh what a bitch) Always sizing, criticizing me
She was all the things that my Mom warned me
Now I hate her, what a bitch

I’ve known her kind, and I’ve seen what she’s all about
Making me fall for her, then tearing my heart right out
(Oh what a bitch)

Oh I, got a nauseous feeling when she came in my life
Oh my, I wish that I had taken friends’ advice

Oh what a bitch (do do do do) oh what a bitch (do do do do)
Oh what a bitch (do do do do) oh what a bitch (do do do do)

(Oh what a bitch) Why’d I take so long to see she’s wrong?
So unfaithful to me all along, what a sleazebag, what a bitch

I’ve known her kind, and I’ve been through all this before
I’ve had my fill of it, and I can’t take it anymore, Oh what a bitch

Oh what a bitch (do do do do) oh what a bitch (do do do do)
Oh what a bitch (do do do do) oh what a bitch (do do do do)
(repeat)

Deck my balls with lots of pussy,
Fa la la la la la la la!
‘Tis the season to be horny,
Fa la la la la la la la!
Don we now our rubber condoms,
Fa la la la la la la la!
Don’t leave a drop of jism on them,
Fa la la la la la la la!

See the bare-ass bush before us,
Fa la la la la la la la!
Suck her tits and her clitoris,
Fa la la la la la la la!
Throw her ass in for good measure,
Fa la la la la la la la!
While I drop my semen treasure,
Fa la la la la la la la!

Fart away the gas that passes,
Fa la la la la la la la!
Slap their tits and bite their asses,
Fa la la la la la la la!
Fuck her silly and cum together
Fa la la la la la la la!
Make her wear that kinky leather,
Fa la la la la la la la!

COMING SOON!

This desk I bought, it’s so frustratin’,
Pieces missing, patience fading,
I got the floor model, it’s me I’m blamin’,
Some assembly required, boy, what an understatement
I’m sure you can all understand, about my lament

Can you, help me, put this together, I’m at wit’s end, my friend
Ah, I’m quite upset, I did not get the instructions

Can’t you understand, what I’m trying to do?
And can’t you tell me what this thing attaches to?
Do I have the right tools, do I need some more screws?
And I feel so blue, there’s no warranty, too
It can happen to you, boy, not much you can do, boy

Can you, help me, put this together, I’m at wit’s end, my friend
Ah, well you can bet, I did not get the instructions

Yeah, I’m so damned mad, at this whole situation,
I’m sittin’ here, in desperation,
The pieces don’t fit, it’s such an aggravation,
And it doesn’t quite match, the box illustration,
Been at it for hours, there’s no explanation
Checked out their web site, got no information
There’s just too many parts, what an irritation

Can you, help me, put this together, I’m at wit’s end, my friend
Ah, it’s not done yet, I did not get the instructions

Look at all this stuff lying here on the floor
I see seven wheels, but there’s supposed to be four
Ah, I can’t take it, it’s such a damn waste,
of time and money, I feel so disgraced,
It’s still not together, I’m a basket case,
There’s small metal pieces, all over the place,
I’m throwing this crap out, and I’m going to get wasted

Can you help me put this thing together
I’m at wit’s end, my friend,
Ah, well you can bet, I did not get the instructions
I’m quite upset I did not get the instructions

COMING SOON!

Give me a break
I hate that dippy Ricki Lake
The ground does shake,
With that dippy Ricki Lake

I feel so ill
Watching that dippy Ricki Lake
I got my fill now
Of that dippy Ricki Lake
Yeah, she needs a smack
The dippy Ricki Lake

Well, you turn it Montel
You turn it to Jerry
You get the Ricki Lake flake
And that bitch is scary

So scary, yea
How much can we take?
Yeah, she thinks she’s black
The dippy Ricki Lake

Dippy Ricki Lake
Dippy Ricki Lake

If you’re, having trouble washing your laundry
And there’s sure quite a lot
You try scrubbing it every night and day
But you still got those spots
You can’t ignore, filth anymore, it is such a sight
‘Cause you, wash, spin, rinse, repeat, and repeat again
You’ll be at it all night

Dirty sheets (won’t come clean), dirty sheets (won’t come clean)
Dirty sheets (won’t come clean)
Dirty sheets with the grunge and grease
Dirty sheets with the grunge and grease

When you, try your best to clean those stains
But they just won’t come out
You use every kind of soap and bleach
And even spray with Shout, fella
You had those sheets, for many weeks
Just what more can be said?
Don’t be cheap, just head down the street
Buy some new ones instead, yea

Dirty sheets (won’t come clean), dirty sheets (won’t come clean)
Dirty sheets (won’t come clean)
Dirty sheets with the grunge and grease, eww
Dirty sheets with the grunge and grease

When you’re, with a lady and you’re all alone
And she’s there in your bed
And just when it’s starting to get good
That’s when you sense her dread
She sees those sheets, jumps up and shrieks
And it ruins the mood
She gets sore, and runs out the door, what can you do? Yea

Dirty sheets (won’t come clean), dirty sheets (won’t come clean)
Dirty sheets (won’t come clean)
Dirty sheets with the grunge and grease
Dirty sheets with the grunge and grease
Dirty sheets with the grunge and grease
Dirty sheets with the grunge and grease

Tide, Fleecy, Javex (won’t come clean)
Gain, Purex, all tempa-Cheer! (won’t come clean)
Dirty sheets (won’t come clean), dirty sheets (won’t come clean)
(Dirty sheets) wash them as much as you want to
(Won’t come clean) dirty sheets, dirty sheets
Dirty sheets, won’t come clean! Aaaaugh!!

COMING SOON!

Give me time, to get checked by the doc, to see if I’m clean
All these sores, over my cock, I’ll need more than cream

Do you really want my herpes? Do you really want a sex disease?
Urination always burns me, my junk looks like cottage cheese

I know you’ve been patient with me, wanting to get physical
But we’ll have to wait ‘til I see, results from the hospital

Do you really want my herpes? Do you really want a sex disease?
Do you really want my herpes? Do you really want my STDs?

I’ve been with a lot of women, some were nice but most were whores
And I never used a condom, that just might explain these sores
I’ve been known to have syphilis, and maybe gonorrhea too
There is always blood in my piss, I’d get checked if I were you

My mouth sores, they ain’t cankers, I’m sure I, got crabs
There are warts over my wanker, and I have, the clap

Do you really want my herpes? Do you really want a sex disease?
Do you really want my herpes? Do you really want my STDs?

Do you really want my herpes? Do you really want a sex disease?
Do you really want my herpes? Do you really want my STDs?
Burnburnburnburnburnburnburnburnburnburn

Do you really want my herpes? Do you really want a sex disease?
Do you really want my herpes? Do you really want my STDs?
Do you really want my herpes? Do you really want my STDs?

Every single morning, a kinky day
She slips her hands in, furry handcuffs
Pulls my choke collar, spanks me and she says
This party needs, very steamy meat sauce

I’ll do my best to keep this girl with me forever
If that means whips and chains, donkeys, food or leather
Doing it all in the gravy, because that’s as kinky as it gets
Doing it all in the gravy, with chunky little gravy bits

Later in the evening, we’re still a sticky mess
Grabs the ladle, and pours it like it’s routine
Lick it off her bottom, smears it on my chest
Says we’ll add some cheese curds
Then we will have some poutine

I try my best to be such an understanding guy
But just what makes her like this stuff I’ll never know why
Doing it all in the gravy, because that’s as strange as we can be
Doing it all in the gravy, with mashed potatoes and some peas

Doing it all in the gravy, because that’s as kinky as it gets
Doing it all in the gravy, with chunky little gravy bits
Doing it, doing it, doing it, doing it, doing it, yea
Doing it, doing it, oooh, oooh, oooh
Doing it, doing it, doing it, doing it, doing it, yea
Doing it, doing it, oooh, oooh, oooh

(Doing it all in the gravy) Doing it all in the gravy
(Doing it all in the gravy) It’s as hot as it could be
(Doing it all in the gravy) Doing lots of stuff in that gravy
(Doing it all in the gravy) It’s so fun

COMING SOON!

It is Donkey Kong time, I think I should be playing, yeah
So don’t you wait up for me, I will be staying
Jumping, over lots of barrels
Just to rescue this girl Pauline, who gets herself in peril
I’m her little moustached hero…

Well I’m spending my time, in lots of arcades
Trying to go after this big hairy ape
And I’m losing my mind, ‘cause I just can’t see
How these fireballs can chase me?
Yea, yea, yea, yea it is Donkey Kong time, it is Donkey Kong time

Well I’d spend all day playing, when I was so younger
And in my mind, I always was, that Mario the plumber
Climbing, up and down the ladders
And if anything gets close to me, I’ll smash them with a hammer
I love to watch them splatter…

Well I’m spending my time, and my quarters too
I’ve been playing this since nineteen eighty-two
And I hope that I’m fine, I don’t know no more
‘Cause my fingers are getting sore
Yea, yea, yea, yea it is Donkey Kong time, it is Donkey Kong time

Yeaaaaah, it is Donkey Kong time, and I just can’t stop playing
My friends and my family, keep on complaining
All those good times, I had throughout my childhood
And I still keep on playing today, just anytime that I could
And Donkey Kong Junior too…

Well I’m spending my time, yea on Donkey Kong
Spending my time, it goes on and on
Spending my time, spending my time, spending my time…

COMING SOON!

If you believe in the power of free speech, let me speak my mind
And if you think that swearing is evil, it is not a crime
Bad enough you think I’m disgusting, writing about sex
So pardon me if I just don’t like being, politically correct

Don’t censor me, don’t feel resented, don’t start a war
Don’t censor me, if you’re offended, don’t read no more
Go away and bother someone else
Why must you be putting me through hell?

If you believe in the first amendment, then just leave me alone
And if you think I’m a bad influence, you need to get stoned
You try too hard to find things offensive, you are so uptight
So you know why I’m so defensive, don’t tell me what to write

Don’t censor me, don’t be a tyrant, don’t be a twit
Don’t censor me, shut up your woke ass, stop starting shit
Don’t decide what’s best for everyone
When you’re changing things it’s really dumb

Don’t censor me, don’t feel resented, don’t start a war
Don’t censor me, if you’re offended, don’t read no more
Go away and bother someone else
Don’t censor me, don’t be a tyrant, don’t be a twit
Don’t censor me, shut up your woke ass, stop starting shit
Don’t decide what’s best for everyone
Don’t censor me…

I just can’t remember, what I got
When I’m on that site, I will lose my train I thought, I overbought
There’s so many things, when I’m there
Can’t control myself, I’m not sure if I’m aware, or even care
When I start shopping, it’s an addiction, baby
I can’t stop, or slow down, it’s where everything is found

Don’t know what I bought off Amazon
I spent way too much and that’s so wrong, wrong, wrong
Must have been on that site, for way too long
Whatever I got my money is all gone, gone, gone

I got lots of things that I don’t need
Wasting all my cash, on impulses and my greed, yes indeed
I’d like to say i bought some gifts
We both know that’s crap
Because I am so damn selfish, there’s no gifts
I suppose I could check my purchase history
It would say what I buy, but I’d rather be surprised

Don’t know what I bought off Amazon
I spent way too much and that’s so wrong, wrong, wrong
Must have been on that site, for way too long
Whatever I got my money is all gone, gone, gone

Can’t you see this site is tempting, baby, I’m on there every single day
I just can’t browse without buying something
Everything is just a click away

Don’t know what I bought off Amazon
I spent way too much and that’s so wrong, wrong, wrong
Must have been on that site, for way too long
Whatever I got my money is all gone, gone, gone
(repeat)

You got me wrenching, got me puking away
You got me thinking that there’s no other way
Don’t piss me off … bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch … fuck you
I’ll tell you once more, you’re such a heart-wrenching whore
Don’t piss me off

I wanna go and beat some sense into you
After all the shit that you put me through
Don’t piss me off, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch … fuck you
I’ll tell you once more, you’re such a heart-wrenching whore
Don’t piss me off

Don’t piss me off, bitch! Don’t piss me off, slut!
Don’t piss me off, skank! Don’t piss me off …

What happened to that whore I used to boink?
You let your ass out and became an oink
Don’t piss me off, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch … fuck you
I’ll tell you once more, you’re such a heart-wrenching whore
Don’t piss me off

You’re always bragging ‘bout your whoreish nights
If you don’t shut up I’ll punch out your lights
Don’t piss me off, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch … fuck you
I’ll tell you once more, you’re such a heart-wrenching whore
Don’t piss me off

Don’t piss me off, bitch! Don’t piss me off, slut!
Don’t piss me off, skank! Don’t piss me off …
You look like you got something stuck up your ass
I’ll tell you now, your attitude won’t last

Don’t piss me off
Bitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitch … fuck you
I’ll tell you once more, you’re such a heart-wrenching whore
Don’t piss me off

You got me drunk, you got me hooked on cocaine
You got me thinking that you are so insane
Don’t piss me off, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch … fuck you
I’ll tell you once more, you’re such a heart-wrenching whore
Don’t piss me off, off, off, off, off, off
I’ll tell you once more, you’re such a heart-wrenching whore
Don’t piss me off!

COMING SOON!

COMING SOON!

All I need is booze and pot, and I hope I won’t get caught
All you know is that it’s a blast, I get this way when I am smashed
Then I know, I’ve gone, too far, uh-oh, I crashed, my car
It didn’t feel right, when I, saw that red flashing light
And the cops said to me…

It’s drink and drive, ay-yi-yi
You’re D.U.I., ay-yi-yi

All I want is some first aid, I guess that’s quite a mess I made, yea
You know that booze, it gets me stunned
I hit two kids and a bus of nuns
Then I know, I’ve gone, too far, uh-oh, I wrecked the car
And I felt, so bad, when I, ran down your Dad
When he said to me…

It’s drink and drive, ay-yi-yi
You’re D.U.I., ay-yi-yi

All I need is bail tonight, ‘cuz I’m as high as a kite
Bubba’s got me on the floor, now I think my ass is sore
But I know, they’ve gone, too far, uh-oh, they took my car
And it felt, so weird, when I, got forty years
The  judge said to me…

Don’t drink and drive, ay-yi-yi, you’re D.U.I., ay-yi-yi
Well, it’s drink and drive, ay-yi-yi, that’s D.U.I., ay-yi-yi
Well, It’s drink and drive, ay-yi-yi, you’re D.U.I., ay-yi-yi
Well, it’s drink and drive, ay-yi-yi, that’s D.U.I., ay-yi-yi

I won’t drink another drop…

Baby, baby, it looks like you wrecked the car
Baby, baby, I think you went way too far
You should have gave your keys to someone else
That night at the bar

Oh, you did some, drunk drivin’, go to jail
You did some, drunk drivin’, go to jail
You did some, drunk drivin’, go to jail
You did some, drunk drivin’, go to jail
Why were you drunk drivin’, went to jail today?

Cops were on your tail, looking just to bust your ass
Cops stayed on your tail, they probably found your grass
When you heard those sirens, you shouldn’t have hit the gas

Oh, you did some, drunk drivin’, go to jail
You did some, drunk drivin’, go to jail
You did some, drunk drivin’, go to jail
You did some, drunk drivin’, go to jail
Why were you drunk drivin’, went to jail today?

Didn’t see that stop sign, you thought it was no big deal
You couldn’t see that stop sign
Now you’re eating the steering wheel
The airbags wouldn’t work, so you flew through the windshield

Oh, you did some, drunk drivin’, go to jail
You did some, drunk drivin’, go to jail
You did some, drunk drivin’, go to jail
You did some, drunk drivin’, go to jail
Why were you drunk drivin’, went to jail today?

Ambulance came down the street, those sirens wailed
The police were on the scene, breathalyser failed
Thought you’d get away, but now you’re gonna need bail

Oh, you did some, drunk drivin’, go to jail
You did some, drunk drivin’, go to jail
You did some, drunk drivin’, go to jail
You did some, drunk drivin’, go to jail
Why were you drunk drivin’, went to jail today?

Dude looks like a Brady, dude looks like a Brady
Dude looks like a Brady, dude looks like a Brady

Cruised into this seventies show
With the strangest family that I know
There were bell-bottoms everywhere
They were singing and dancing
And they just didn’t care, big hair!

Now she was a lovely lady
Who was bringing up three very lovely girls
All of them had hair of gold like their mother
And the youngest one, you know she was in pearls

Dude looks like a Brady, dude looks like a Brady
Dude looks like a Brady, dude looks like a Brady

Then along comes this guy they call Brady
With three boys from a different lady
Now, they have it made, they have Alice their maid
They only seem to have one bathroom
Lord imagine my dismay

Dude looks like a Brady, dude looks like a Brady
Dude looks like a Brady, dude looks like a Brady

Groovin’ with the Brady Bunch, Peter, Greg and Bobby
Groovin’ with the Brady Bunch, Brady, Brady, Brady all right
Groovin’ with the Brady Bunch, Marcia, Jan and Cindy
Groovin’ with the Brady Bunch, Brady, Brady, Brady, baby

Ooh, what a groovy Brady
We like them, like them, like them like that
Yes, they are the Bradys, ooh yeayeayeayeayeayeaaa

Dude looks like a Brady, dude looks like a Brady
Dude looks like a Brady, dude looks like a Brady
Dude looks like a Brady, dude looks like a Brady
Dude looks like a Brady, dude looks like a Brady (repeat)

I get on, but nothing will come out
I gotta thrust, you know that’s what it’s all about
And I know….that I’m blocked up again
I gotta push push push, out the feces
Just deal with the strain

Oh can’t you see me sittin’ here
I got my ass upon this cold toilet seat
I just can’t seem to excrete, all of these foods that I eat

Ah, might as well dump (dump!)….I need to dump
Force it out, dump (dump!)….why can’t I dump?

Uh-oh, P-U, Who farted? Baby, wasn’t me
I tried metamucil, and ex-lax, but only got pee

Can’t you see me standing here
I’m looking into another empty can
With toilet paper at hand, maybe I just need some bran

Ah, might as well dump (dump!)….I need to dump
Force it out, dump (dump!)….why can’t I dump?
Dump!

Ah, might as well dump (dump!)….I need to dump
Force it out, dump (dump!)….why can’t I dump?
Dump! Dump! Dump! Dump!