SONG PARODY LYRICS
BOWL-A-SOUP
(Hula Hoop – Omi)
French onion, with cheese, have spoon, then you tease
Your breasts are tempting me
I never make it dull, I’ll give you my noodles
You’ll be my tomato, yea
The way you move you know, it’s like gumbo, and potato
You got me by the wontons, (oow, ow)
And girl, you’re minestrone, with them curves like macaroni
I need your croutons, oh
And girl you know, you’re so fine, I’ll need more than a cup
Like a bowl-a, bowl-a soup, bowl-a, bowl-a soup, o-oh
Love your juice, I’m going to slurp it up
Like a bowl-a, bowl-a soup, bowl-a, bowl-a soup, o-oh
Got me boiling over in the pot
Like a bowl-a, bowl-a soup, bowl-a, bowl-a soup, o-oh
Better blow me because I’m so hot
Like a bowl-a, bowl-a soup, bowl-a, bowl-a soup, o-oh
And fresh veggies be damned, you just like it in the can
I’m such a lucky man, hey
Love your chicken and rice, my matzo balls are nice
Your broth just feels so right, yea
The way you stir my beef, it’s clear to see, it’s thick as pea
I want your clam chowder.. all day
And girl, I knew that you would, end up being so mm-mm good
I need some crackers, oh
And girl you know, you’re so fine, I’ll need more than a cup
Like a bowl-a, bowl-a soup, bowl-a, bowl-a soup, o-oh
Love your juice, I’m going to slurp it up
Like a bowl-a, bowl-a soup, bowl-a, bowl-a soup, o-oh
Got me boiling over in the pot
Like a bowl-a, bowl-a soup, bowl-a, bowl-a soup, o-oh
Better blow me because I’m so hot
Like a bowl-a, bowl-a soup, bowl-a, bowl-a soup, o-oh (repeat)
BRAN GIVES ME RUNS
(Band On The Run – Wings)
Stuck inside the bathroom, I’ve been here forever
Feeling constipated, blocked again
With poo, lots of, poo, stinky, too
If I ever comes out of me, thought of flushing it down the can
Then I’ll wipe myself thoroughly, all I need is a lot of bran
If it ever comes out of me (I hope it comes out of me)
Well, my ass exploded with some diarrhea
Now my bowels loosened up
I hope this bran was a good idea
‘Cause now it just won’t stop
Bran gives me runs, bran gives me runs
And the constant poop, comes out like soup
Revolting everyone
Because, bran gives me runs, bran gives me runs
Bran gives me runs, bran gives me runs
Well, the bathroom cleaner had to hold his breath
Smelling all the fumes inside
And I shouted to him as he crawled away
‘You can run but you can’t hide!’
Bran gives me runs, bran gives me runs
And the constant poop, comes out like soup
Revolting everyone
Because, bran gives me runs, bran gives me runs
You know that bran gives me runs, bran gives me runs
Bran gives me runs, bran gives me runs
Well, I was exhausted as it started to taper
Those muffins took their toll
And I couldn’t find more toilet paper
Guess I used up the whole roll
Bran gives me runs, bran gives me runs
And the toilet bowl, is getting full, and I’m not even done
That’s why bran gives me runs, bran gives me runs
Bran gives me runs, bran gives me runs
BREAK MY FIXTURES
(Take A Picture – Filter)
COMING SOON!
BREAKFAST IN CANADA
(Breakfast In America – Supertramp)
COMING SOON!
BREATHALYZERS
(Synthesizers – Butch Walker & The Black Widows)
COMING SOON!
BURGERS ON A BUN
(Seasons In The Sun – Terry Jacks)
Hello to you my twisted friend
You warped my mind since back in God knows when
Together we did crazy shit, we made ice cubes with our spit
Shaved our balls and waxed our pits
Good day my friend, we had a blast
We’d smoke catnip and paint things on our ass
We used to eat dirt just for kicks
We played hockey with our dicks
Made girlfriends with Lego bricks
We had joy, we had fun, we had burgers on a bun
But the buns were too stale, so we drank some ginger ale
Hello papa, please pray for me
I’m so nuts now I’m writing parodies
I also like to drink shampoo, I put mustard in my shoes
And make movies with my poo
Hey there mama, your son’s insane
I like to take my showers in the rain
I use scissors to pick my nose
Use my tongue to clean my toes
And spread cheese whiz on my clothes
We had joy, we had fun, we had burgers on a bun
But they fell on the lawn, now the burgers are all gone
We had joy we have fun we had burgers on a bun
But they fell on the lawn, now the burgers are all gone
Bonjour my love why you with me?
I like to take prescriptions anally
And use toothpaste for our lube
Play the guitar with your pubes
And the bongos off your boobs
Aloha babe, what can I say? I act this crazy every single day
I’m trying hard not to offend
Blame my family, blame my friends
Doesn’t matter, it won’t end
We had joy, we had fun, we had burgers on a bun
But the mayo we had, like the pickles, have gone bad
We had joy, we had fun, we had burgers on a bun
But the mayo we had, like the pickles, have gone bad
We had joy, we had fun, we had burgers on a bun
But they fell on the lawn, now the burgers are all gone
All the time, we had fun, we had burgers on a bun
But the buns were too stale, so we drank some ginger ale
BURNING THE FRIES
(Learning To Fly – Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)
Well, it started out, with some mac and cheese
Scorched it all, made me wheeze
And then you made, some hamburgers
But when you tried, a fire occurred
You’re burning the fries, and the onion rings
You can’t cook, without burning things
So to play it safe, you made some soup
The pot turned black, it turned to poop
You’re burning the fries (burning the fries)
And the chicken wings (burning the fries)
All our food (burning the fries)
It keeps blackening (burning the fries)
Some say you’re, an awful cook
I guess they’re right, take a look
So you thought you’d try, to bake a pie
The house burned down, and we know why
You’re burning the fries, it must be hard
Goes in cold, (burning the fries) comes out charred
You burnt all the fries (burning the fries)
And wrecked everything
It must be, humiliating
Stop burning the fries, (burning the fries)
They’re way too crisp
Cops think you’re, (burning the fries) an arsonist
You’re burning the fries (burning the fries)
(Burning the fries) No burning the fries
(Burning the fries) (burning the fries)
BY THE BALLS
(Bailamos – Enrique Iglesias)
I can’t go out, I told my wife I’d stay home
She is the boss, and she just will not leave me alone
Won’t let me out of her sight, won’t let me hang with the guys
The way she controls isn’t right
By the balls, seems like women always have me, by the balls
Monopoliser, tyrannizer, by the balls
Feels like I’m always led around, by the balls
Domineering, overbearing, oppressing
Tonight I’m whipped, she’s always laying a guilt trip on me
Now I’m getting mad, you know something
I think it’s kinda sad
She won’t let me have fun, won’t let me talk to anyone
Why am I so scared of her?
By the balls, seems like women always have me, by the balls
Monopoliser, tyrannizer, by the balls
Feels like I’m always led around, by the balls
Domineering, overbearing, oppressing
(whoa, oh, no, no) when she says jump
(whoa, oh, no, no) I ask her how high
(whoa, oh, no, no) if only I had guts, dominating, I am hating
By the balls, seems like women always have me, by the balls
Monopoliser, tyrannizer, by the balls
Feels like I’m always led around, by the balls
Domineering, overbearing, oppressing
By the balls (Oh god please kill me, God please kill me now)
By the balls (Oh god please kill me, God please kill me now)
CALIFORNIA SQUIRRELS
(California Girls – The Beach Boys)
Well, all these girls around me
Really, can be such a tease
But they got no tails and the logic fails
Why they just can’t climb up trees
Those crazy airhead bimbos
They all, act like they’re from mars
And the northern girls can’t compare to squirrels
They’re so cute when they’re dodging cars
I wish they all could be California (squirrels)
I wish they all could be California
I wish they all could be California, squirrels
The west coast has these phonies
They have, plastic boobs and butts
I dig those wild-eyed rodents with their big bushy tails
And the way they grab your nuts
Some people think I’m really out there
But they, just don’t understand
Because those sexy squirrels, really rock my world
They are the best in the whole damn land!
I wish they all could be California (squirrels)
I wish they all could be California
I wish they all could be California, squirrels
I wish they all could be California (squirrels)
I wish they all could be California squirrels
I wish they all could be California (squirrels)
I wish they all could be California squirrels
I wish they all could be California (squirrels)
I wish they all could be California squirrels…
CANADIAN WOMAN
(American Woman – The Guess Who)
Canadian woman, you’re the best and mine
Canadian woman, you’re so the best and mine
Mmmm Canadian woman, you’re the best and mine
Mmm Canadian woman you’re the best and mine
You say C, I say ‘eh’, you say N, I say ‘eh’
You say D, and I, say ‘eh’, N, mmm
Canadian woman, you’re the best and mine
Ooh Canadian woman you’re the best and mine
Canadian woman, you’re the best and mine
Canadian woman, drink a beer with me
Canadian woman, let’s watch some hockey
You’re so hot, you melt all of the snow
You’d even heat up an Eskimo
Every morning you’re at Tim Hortons
Then come back home and cook back bacon
Now woman, please don’t go away
Canadian woman, not the USA, eh, eh?
Canadian woman, what a gorgeous sight
Canadian woman, always so polite
You look so sexy wearing a toque
Don’t understand what that’s all a-boot
Every night you dance for me, then I stand on guard for thee
Now woman, just hold me closer
Canadian woman, you’re such a hoser, eh?
Canadian woman, from great white North
Canadian woman, buying a 2-4
You’d make anyone a believer
Showing your symbolic beaver
I don’t need Americans, those Northern girls always win
Throughout all the snow and slush
You’ll always listen to Rush
Now woman, you’re always the best
Canadian woman, wearing your Leaf crest
No, please don’t go away, just don’t go away, no no no no
I really want you woman, I really love you woman
G’day, g’day, g’day, g’day
You’re so good for me, I’m just right for you
Going to order some poutine fries, and another beer or two
You know that I believe, that you’d melt all the snow
You know that I believe, cuz that’s the girl I know, baby
I’m going to love you woman, g’day Canadian Woman
CANNABIS GARDEN
(Octopus’s Garden – The Beatles)
I’d like to be, growing some weed
In my Cannabis garden, in my yard
It is a sin, not to plant in
That nice Cannabis garden, in the yard
I’d ask my friends to come and smoke
A cannabis doobie with me
I’d like to be, growing that weed
In my cannabis garden, in my yard
We would be stoned, right here at home
We don’t need to hide away, from all the cops
Resting our eyes, because we’re fried
Near my Cannabis garden, full of crops
We would laugh and float around
And we would not want to come down
I’d like to be, growing more weed
In my Cannabis garden in my yard
We would fly and get real high
And get the munchies all of the time
(Every single bloody time)
What a buzz, that this home-grown shit does
Knowing that it’s great and it’s mine
(No stems and no seeds)
We would be so out there, wait and see
There’s no telling what this stuff can do
I’d like to be, smoking that weed
In my Cannabis garden, with you
In my Cannabis garden, with you
In my Cannabis garden, with you!
CAN’T GET MY ASS OUT OF BED
(Can’t Get It Out Of My Head – Electric Light Orchestra)
Morning, I’m too drowsy
Why do, I feel so lousy?
Shouldn’t have stayed up so late
Had to be at work by eight
Now I, can’t get my ass out of bed,
No I can’t get my ass out of bed
I always face the day with dread
And I, can’t get my ass out of bed
Past noon, it just worsens
Not a, morning person
Stop trying to get me up
‘Cause you won’t have any luck
‘Cause I can’t get my ass out of bed
Now I, can’t get my ass out of bed
You’re better off waking the dead
‘Cause I, can’t get my ass out of bed, Oh no
All day, I feel lazy
Why should I get up when I can sleep the day away?
That’s just plain crazy
I’ll lay here till God knows when
And tomorrow I’ll do it all again
Now I, can’t get my ass out of bed
No I can’t get my ass out of bed
I always face the day with dread
And I, can’t get my ass out of bed
‘Cause I can’t get my ass out of bed
Now I, can’t get my ass out of bed
You’re better off waking the dead
‘Cause I, can’t get my ass out of bed, Oh no, Ooh no
CAN’T STAND VASECTOMIES
(Don’t Stand So Close To Me – The Police)
A simple, procedure, that’s what they’re telling me
One snip in, my nut sack, just how bad can it be?
Inside me, I’m cringing, I don’t think I’m ready
This doctor, I hope he’s good, and his hands are steady
Can’t stand, can’t stand it, can’t stand vasectomies
Can’t stand, can’t stand it, can’t stand vasectomies
My wife is, so stubborn, you know she’s, persistent
She says that it’s the right thing, but I’m still resistant
Translation: castration, that’s what it’s like to me
We don’t want, more children, but there’s no guarantee
Can’t stand, can’t stand it, can’t stand vasectomies
Can’t stand, can’t stand it, can’t stand vasectomies
My friends say, I’m insane, that I’ll be less a man
The doc says, there’s no pain, but I don’t give a damn
It’s no use, can’t do it, I’m feeling too perplexed
Forget it, won’t happen, I’ll just have no more sex
Can’t stand, can’t stand it, can’t stand vasectomies
Can’t stand, can’t stand it, can’t stand vasectomies
Can’t stand (please don’t cut), can’t stand it
(Into my sack) can’t stand vasectomies
Can’t stand (please don’t cut), can’t stand it
(Into my sack) can’t stand vasectomies
Can’t stand (please don’t cut), can’t stand it
(Into my sack) can’t stand vasectomies…
CARROT IN MY EYE
(Spirit In The Sky – Norman Geenbaum)
When I eat, I will do it in peace
But my face ends up covered in grease
I just can’t understand why
I always end up with a carrot in my eye
Always end up with a carrot in my eye (carrot in my eye)
You know it really hurts, and I’ll cry (really cry)
I know why it happens every night
Because my family likes to have food fights
Prepare yourself, if you eat with us
Gonna get plastered with meat sauce
Mashed potatoes and apple pie
And a very good chance you’ll get a carrot in your eye
(Carrot in my eye) going to end up with a carrot in your eye
And maybe casserole and some fries (lots of fries)
Don’t you try to even clean your face
Looks like we have a lot of food to waste
Always such a big mess, food everywhere
I got tacos in my hair
Gravy running down my thighs
But the worst part of all is the carrot in my eye
Always end up with a carrot in my eye (carrot in my eye)
Along with sour cream and some chives (lots of chives)
When I try to go protect my head
I get pelted with the slices of bread
Never stop getting that carrot in my eye (carrot in my eye)
With lots of other foods, boiled and fried (hot and fried)
Don’t know why, this is what they all want
This is why we don’t go to restaurants
Can’t go to any restaurants
Getting kicked out of restaurants…
CHAFED
(Faith – George Michael)
Well I guess it would be nice, if I did not have crotch rot
It would really mean a lot, to get rid of this rash
I should have realized, that my nuts would start to sweat
Cuz now it’s getting worse I bet, I feel it on my ass
Oh it is, all my fault cuz, I can’t stop wearing
Nothing but these tight leather pants of mine
And when I’d walk bowlegged, folks are staring
I would have worn something different
But this shows off my behind
Now I’m starting to chafe, my thighs will be chafed
Because I’m going to be chafed, chafed, chafed
A really bad chafe, chafe, chafe-a
Maybe, I should have worn some underwear
Now I am red and sore down there, I guess I will just never learn
Baby, I could use talcum powder
And perhaps a nice cold shower
‘Cause I’m feeling a bit concerned, when my testes burn
I’d reconsider, my choice in clothing
But this is all I really like to wear
Oh baby, with all this dancing, and sexy posing
I knew there would be grinding but I didn’t seem to care
Now I’m feeling the chafe, oooh my thighs are so chafed
Yes I gotta be chafed, chafed, chafed
A really bad chafe, chafe, chafe-a
My dancing can wait, because I am so chafed
I’m feeling so chafed, I’m feeling, feeling, feeling so chafed
I’m using some creams, and lots of lotions
To make my crotch feel normal once again
Oh baby, I’m raw and blistered, from all this motion
Well you’d think I’d learn my lesson, but you know this will not end…
Now I’m starting to chafe, ooow, my thighs will be chafed
Yes I’m going to be chafed, chafed, chafed
A really bad chafe, chafe, chafe-a
CHARGE MY PHONE TONIGHT
(Take Me Home Tonight – Eddie Money)
Oh, whoa, oooh oh, oh, oh, yea yea yea yea yea yea
I need some power, power outlet
A place where I can go get plugged in
It has gone down to, about six per cent
I have only thirty apps open
There was full power, when I left home
And that was only about twelve minutes ago
I need my Facebook, and Google Chrome
When something happens I just got to know
I can feel it drain, I can see my screen getting dimmer…
Charge my phone tonight
I don’t want to go nowhere till it is all right
Charge my phone tonight, wait ‘til it’s at one hundred percent
I’m a smartphone addict, whoa, oh, ooh
I am always, watching the YouTube
And I tag myself everywhere I go
When I am eating lunch, or in the washroom
I’m always feel, like I, need to share
I can see it charge, I just wish it would go faster …
Charge my phone tonight
I don’t want to go nowhere until it’s all right
Charge my phone tonight
Wait ‘til it’s at one hundred percent
I’m a smartphone addict, and I am pathetic
One hundred percent, almost, one hundred percent
I’m a smartphone addict, I am always on it, whoa, oh, oh, oh, ooh
I feel the power, recharged power…
Charge my phone tonight
I don’t want to go nowhere until it’s all right
Charge my phone tonight, wait ‘til it’s at one hundred percent
I’m a smartphone addict, whoa, oh, oh, oh, ooh
Charge my phone tonight
I don’t want to go nowhere until it’s all right
Charge my phone tonight, wait ‘til it’s at one hundred percent
I’m a smartphone addict, whoa, oh, oh, oh, ooh
Charge my phone tonight
I don’t want to go nowhere until it’s all right
(God, I am pathetic, oh, oh, oh, oh)
Charge my phone tonight, wait ‘til it’s at one hundred percent
I’m a smartphone addict, whoa, oh, oh, oh, ooh
CHEESE BRAIN
(Freeze Frame – The J. Geils Band)
Cheese brain!
Why are there so many screwed-up people?
Too many morons bring me down
And Trump’s the biggest one around
With him no logic can be found
And yet they elected this ass clown
Have you seen the U.S. White House lately?
The breeding ground of decadence
Where they are lacking intelligence
Even from vice president Mike Pence
Just blame the cheese brain president
(Cheese brain) cheese brain
(Cheese brain) cheese brain
(Cheese brain) cheese brain
(Cheese brain) come on please
Now there’s nothing that is worse for people
Then a racist bigot who’s in charge
Who thinks his hands and crowds are so large
He’s going to get the country bombed
This cheese brain jackass won’t last long
(Cheese brain) cheese brain
(Cheese brain) cheese brain
(Cheese brain) cheese brain
(Cheese brain) come on jeez
(Cheese brain) cheese brain
(Cheese brain) cheese brain
(Cheese brain) cheese brain
(Cheese brain) come on please
Cheese brain, cheese brain
Such a cheese brain , cheese brain
Cheese brain, there’s so much cheese
Cheese, cheese, cheese brain
Cheese brain, cheese brain, cheese brain
CHICKEN WINGS
(Broken Wings – Mr. Mister)
COMING SOON!
CHIMPANZEE
(Refugee – Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)
COMING SOON!
CHRISTMAS BILLS
(Jingle Bells – James Lord Pierpont)
Dashing through the stores, to get everyone their gifts
I’ll need to get more, there’s too many kids
Cashier rings it up, the amount is huge
I just hope that my credit cards, won’t melt from overuse
Oh, Christmas bills, Christmas bills, soon they all will come
Charging me for all the joy that I gave to everyone, hey
Christmas bills, Christmas bills, I won’t have enough
I wish that the holidays wouldn’t leave me so bankrupt
A day or two ago, the mail did arrive
The Visa bills were there, I went to run and hide
The notices pile up, with extra interest fees
I hope that I can pay it off, they’ll dock my salary
Oh, Christmas bills, Christmas bills, leaving me in debt
Now it’s gotten so much worse, shopping on the internet, hey
Christmas bills, Christmas bills, everyday there’s more
Don’t know why they’re gouging me, when I am already poor
My bank accounts drained, savings gone away
The debt collectors, they call me every day
They cancelled all my cards, my credit score is shot
I hope everyone’s grateful for all the crap they got
Oh, Christmas bills, Christmas bills, reality sets in
It’s a special time of year, when poverty begins, hey
Christmas bills, Christmas bills, bringing me to tears
Oh what fun it’s gonna be, to repeat this all next year…
CHRISTMAS MORNING COMES
(Then The Morning Comes – Smash Mouth)
It’s that time, of the year, that’s always rocking
It always fills me with glee
So wrap those gifts, for us, you better hang the stockings
For sis and me
And this night’s too long (My excitement’s strong)
And the clock seems slow
I’m wide awake, I can’t wait, wake everybody
So we can open our gifts
This wait is a crock, and it’s only one o’ clock
This night never ends
But I know I will be so happy when
Christmas morning comes
Hang the wreath, light the tree, and if I’m lucky
I’m gonna get lots of toys
I wrote a note, for him, and left some milk and cookies
‘Cause I’m such a good boy
Now it’s half past two (Hope I make it through)
Soon the time is near
I can’t unwind, is it time? Screw everybody
I want to open those gifts
The wait’s killing me, it’s only quarter past three
I’m just too anxious
And every single year I’m just like this
And when it comes I’m satisfied
You can see the joy in my bloodshot eyes
Even though sleep was denied, it was all so worth it
Santa came last night (and he brought delight)
And you know that’s great
The gifts are good, now I should, thank everybody
That’s just the way that I am
It’s just all part of my plan, it’s not too complex
I’ll be counting the days until the next…
Christmas morning comes
CLEAN UP WHAT YA SHARTED
(Finish What Ya Started – Van Halen)
1, 2, 1, 2…
Come on, really? Whoa-ooh
If you wanna let loose some wind
Maybe you should think again
‘Cause if you have the, diarrhea
Then it’s not a good idea
You got your bowels, screwed up inside
It won’t subside
Now you just crapped your drawers…
Come on buddy, clean up what ya sharted
What did you eat?
You tried to make it sound like you just farted
It doesn’t smell too sweet
You can’t be eating Mexican
Sometimes I don’t think you, comprehend
You should know, your farts from poo
Before it comes out of you
It’s shameful, and disgusting, also funny
So please clean those skid marks…
Come on buddy, clean up what ya sharted
Ugh, it’s so pungent
It went off course before it even charted
Hey, don’t act so innocent
(Scrub till it’s gone) come on buddy, that’s just gross
(The smell’s so strong)
Smelly, smelly, smelly, smelly, smelly, smell, blah
Now come on buddy, please, just clean it all up
Come on buddy, clean up what ya sharted, ahhh
Your new pair of pants just got so bombarded
Gro-oo-oo-ooss!
Come on buddy, clean up what ya sharted
Ewww, smelly, ugh
The putrid smell is not for the fainthearted, hmm mm
(Scrub till its gone) come on wash it please
Scrub that bum (Scrub till its gone)
Yea come on (Scrub till its gone)
I got to breathe, I need some fresh air, come on, really?
(Scrub till its gone) gro-oo-oo-ooss!
(Scrub till it’s gone) (Scrub till it’s gone) (repeat)
COLD CREAM RELIEVER
(Daydream Believer – The Monkees)
Oh, I would try everyday, but my rash won’t go away
The talcum powder’s gone, what can I say?
But it hurts and it burns, seems like I will never learn
This chafing annoys me, every day
Help me, I’m in pain, God, this is so lame
I need, cold cream reliever, before, I go insane
My nuts felt so free, though it was hot and sticky
Now I know how sorry I can be
Oh, now the crotch rot starts down there
Wish I wore some underwear
Now how much lotion do I really need?
Help me, I’m in pain, God, this is so lame
I need, cold cream reliever, before, I go insane
Help me, I’m in pain, God, this is so lame
I need, cold cream reliever, before, I go insane
Help me, I’m in pain, God, this is so lame
I need, cold cream reliever, before, I go insane
(repeat)
COME SMOKE THE REEFER
((Don’t Fear) The Reaper – Blue Oyster Cult)
You look so depressed, you could just be stressed
Maybe you’ll try some reefer
It’s just so good for what ails you
(It would lift your spirits) Come on buddy
(Come smoke the reefer) Won’t you take a puff?
(Come smoke the reefer) You’ll think that you could fly
(Come smoke the reefer) But you really can’t…
Ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha
I can tell you’re gone, here, now try a bong
Taking hauls and holding it, for what feels like eternity
(Take a big haul and hold it)
Over hundred million stoners can’t be wrong
(Took a big haul and holding it)
Over hundred million stoners smoking bongs
(It defines happiness) Another bunch of stoners everyday
(You can be like they are) Come on buddy
(Come smoke the reefer) Won’t you take a puff?
(Come smoke the reefer) You’ll think that you could fly
(Come smoke the reefer) But you really can’t…
Ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha
Let the buzz go on, now your stress is gone
Everything’s always better
When you’re smoking that sweet Mary Jane
Everyone’s friendlier when they are all baked
Who would have knew it would feel so great
You feel renewed yet so sedate
(It’s medicinal) Come on buddy
(Whatcha got to lose?) Now you’re one of us
(You’ll think that you could fly)
Now that you smoked the cannabis
(You have become a stoner) Now you’ve taken a toke
(You have become one of us) Come on buddy
Come smoke the reefer…
CONSTIPATED
(Complicated – Avril Lavigne)
Oh no, that’s just piss, uh huh, uh huh, you can get through this
Cause you can’t shit, uh huh, uh huh hope you get through this
Cry out, behind the bathroom door
Give up, your ass must be sore
And if, you would only eat some bran, you’ll understand
I hate, you the way you groan, when you’re, sitting on the throne
And you’re, whining to me on and on, but you should know
It’s not gonna pass, it comes out as gas
You’re straining your crack, ‘cuz you can’t relax
You’re trying’ too hard, you look like a tard to me, tell me
Why you have to go and make yourself constipated?
I see the food you’re eating
And it’s stuff that I thought you always hated
I warned you, and, you push and you moan and you fart
And you try to poo but you can’t turn it into…
Seriously, just promise me the bathroom isn’t desecrated
No no no
You go in, drop your pants, thought you, try another chance
For all you try and all you get, is pee, you’re making me
Vomit, won’t you strike a match
Can’t stand all the farts dispatched
You know you’re not going anywhere, when you’re aware
It’s not gonna pass, it comes out as gas
You’re straining your crack, ‘cuz you can’t relax
You’re trying’ too hard, you look like a tard to me, tell me
Why you have to go and make yourself constipated?
I see the food you’re eating
And it’s stuff that I thought you always hated
I warned you, and, you push and you moan and you fart
And you try to poo but you can’t turn it into…
Seriously, just promise me the bathroom isn’t desecrated
No no no
Cry out- behind the bathroom door
Give up- your ass must be sore
And if you would only eat some bran, you’ll understand
It’s not gonna pass, it comes out as gas
You’re straining your crack, ‘cuz you can’t relax
You’re trying’ too hard, you look like a tard to me, tell me
Why you have to go and make yourself constipated?
I see the food you’re eating
And it’s stuff that I thought you always hated
I warned you, and, you push and you moan and you fart
And you try to poo but you can’t turn it into…
Seriously, just promise me the bathroom isn’t desecrated
No no no
CONSRICTIVE UNDERWEAR
(Electric Avenue – Eddy Grant)
COMING SOON!
COOK SOME EGGS
(Look Away – Chicago)
COMING SOON!
COUNTRY SONG #2
(Song #2 – Blur)
Yee-haw, yee-haw, yee-haw, yee-haw
I got my guitar, I got a big hat
I’m feeling down home, as I should be
Yup
(Yee-haw) When I feel like a cowboy
(Yee-haw) And my music does annoy
(Yee-haw) Well, I croon and I sing
All this time I wear those boots and spurs
Don’t know what fer..
I lost my tractor, and my trailer
My wife, she left me
I feel so, sweaty
(Yee-haw) When I feel like a cowboy
(Yee-haw) And my music does annoy
(Yee-haw) Well, I croon and I sing
All this time I wear those boots and spurs
Don’t know what fer..
Yee-haw!
Yippee!
Yahoo!
Oh crap..
CRAPPY XMAS (IS IT OVER?)
(Happy Xmas (War Is Over) – John Lennon)
COMING SOON!
CROCHETY
(Tragedy – The Bee Gees)
COMING SOON!
CUPBOARDS OF THE FLINTSTONES
(Cover Of The Rolling Stone – Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show)
COMING SOON!
CUPBOARDS THAT ARE MADE OUT OF PINE
(Lovers In A Dangerous Time – Bruce Cockburn)
As my tastes grew weirder as the years went by
You’d never believe the stuff that I would buy
Back then you see my cupboards weren’t so good
And now you’re dazzled by the beauty of the wood
I’ve got cupboards that are made out of pine
Cupboards that I use all the time
The sleek design and shelving space
That really shows I have good taste
Hand carved handles right on the doors
Now all of my canned goods can be stored
I’ve got cupboards that are made out of pine
Cupboards where I keep all my wine
I’ve got cupboards that I use all the time
Cupboards that are made out of pine
I’ve got cupboards that are made out of pine
It seems like I’m dusting them all the damn time
It’s so nice having a place to put all my food
Get to store all my movies and my CDs too
I’ve got cupboards that are made out of pine
I’ve got cupboards where I keep all my wine
I’ve got cupboards that I use all the time
Cupboards that are made out of pine