SONG PARODY LYRICS
NAKED IN TOWN
(New Kid In Town – The Eagles)
I heard on the street, about our new neighbours
An older couple, they’re causing quite a stir
Went to their house, welcomed them to the block
Found out they are nudists, it was quite a shock
Where is your clothing? You’re naked in town
Everyone can see you, just lounging around
They’re out in their yard, gardening and mowing their lawn
Wave to everyone, with no clothing on
And every morning, they go out to get their mail
They bend, right over, now I feel pale
How do they do it? Be naked in town
People are appalled, and won’t come around
There’s so many times I should have stopped them
And times that I wish, I called the cops on ‘em
To stop them, body parts flappin’
They’d go on long walks throughout the neighbourhood
They don’t seem ashamed, you know they really should
I wouldn’t complain if they were worth looking at
But the woman is all wrinkly, and the guy is really fat
Put on your clothes now, no more naked in town
It is so disgusting, really
Now they’re sunbathing, it’s bringing me down
Oh, my my, they are naked in town
They like being naked in town (ooh-ooh)
Everybody’s talking about them naked in town
(ooh-ooh) (ooh-ooh)
People can’t stop gawking ‘cause they’re naked in town
(ooh-ooh)
They are naked in town, I don’t wanna see it
They are naked in town, I just can’t believe it
They are naked in town, they are naked in town
They are naked in town
Everybody’s talking, ‘cause they’re naked in town
People can’t stop gawking, ‘cause they’re naked in town
They are naked in town, they are naked in town
NEW MAID NOW
(New Girl Now – Honeymoon Suite)
Long laundry night, clothes are everywhere
Loads are getting heavy
I’m folding all the baskets of my underwear
I don’t want to clean my home, it’s a mess and I’m lazy
I know I always sound like a pain
I need a new maid now, I need a new maid now
I need a new maid now, ‘cause I am such a slob
I tried to wash my floor
But the grime was too thick
I try to scrub the toilet
But the stench always makes me sick
I don’t care if you’re sitting in dust
Everything is so gross and filthy
Why must I have to use a dust pan?
I need a new maid now, I need a new maid now
I need a new maid now, because I won’t do squat
I don’t want to cook my food
Someone can do it all for me
Why don’t I hire some Mexican?
I need a new maid now, I need a new maid now
I need a new maid now, ‘cause I’m a lazy fuck
I need a new maid now, I need a new maid now
I need a new maid now, somebody just like you
Just like you… hey, how ‘bout you?
NICOLAS CAGE
(Turn The Page – Bob Seger)
COMING SOON!
NINTENDO 64
(When I’m 64 – The Beatles)
When I got so bored, losing my mind, back in ‘98
Didn’t have a girlfriend or a decent job
No friends, no cash, typical slob
I would stay up ‘till quarter to three
Sometimes way past four
Yes I still play it, and I still love it, Nintendo 64
Oooooh, you’d be playing too
And if you sit right down, I could play with you
Pop in a cartridge, turn it right on, turn the volume up
Sittin’ playing Shadows of the Empire
Super Mario and Conker
Saving the princess, swinging a sword
We were never bored
Yes I still play it, and I still love it, Nintendo 64
Every weekend we would rent a new game at the Blockbuster
It was not too far, we would play for days
Controller’s on my knee, Zelda, Link and me
Give me some Turok, Perfect Dark too
James Bond Goldeneye
Blastin’ down the TIE fighters in Rogue Squadron
Go in pod race, trying to win
Purple controllers, plug in all four, fingers getting sore
Yes I still play it, and I still love it, Nintendo 64
NINTENDO NIGHTS
(Saturday Night – Bay City Rollers)
N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights! N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights!
N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights! N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights!
Well, I always played it since I was a kid
On Nintendo nights, Nintendo nights
It was always my most favorite thing I did
Those Nintendo nights, Nintendo nights
I-I-I-I-I loved to play, I-I-I-I-I played all day
If it’s Zelda, Donkey Kong, or Super Mario
Nintendo nights, Nintendo nights
Final Fantasy, Bomberman, Punch Out or Mega Man
Nintendo nights, Nintendo ni-i-i-ights
Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights, Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights
Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights
N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights! N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights!
N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights! N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights!
There was a lot of games that I really did love
On Nintendo nights, Nintendo nights
Playing with the light gun and the power glove
Those Nintendo nights, Nintendo nights
You-you-you-you can play too
You-you-you-you can be player two
I had Game Boy, NES, Gamecube, and the DS
Nintendo nights, Nintendo nights
The SNES, Sixty-Four, Wii, Switch, and so much more
Nintendo Nights, Nintendo ni-i-i-ights
Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights, Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights
Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights
N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights! N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights!
N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights! N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights!
N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights! N-I-N-T-E-N-D-O, nights!
Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights, Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights
Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights, Ni-Ni-Ni-Nintendo nights
(repeat)
NIPPLE RING
(Purple Rain – Prince)
COMING SOON!
NO DAIRY
(Oh Sherrie – Steve Perry)
COMING SOON!
NO MORE SEARS
(No More Tears – Ozzy Osbourne)
COMING SOON!
NO MORE SNOW! NO MORE SNOW! NO MORE SNOW!
(Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! – Dean Martin)
Oh, the weather outside’s disgusting
It’s got everybody cussing
It feels like fifty below
No more snow, no more snow, no more snow
All the schools and stores are closing
But then my job just keeps on going
The traffic is so damned slow
No more snow, no more snow, no more snow
When it seems to stop coming down
I will spend the whole day shovelling
And just when I thought I was done
All this crap starts up again
Don’t know how people enjoy it
When I just tried to avoid it
I think I just froze off my toes
No more snow, no more snow, no more snow
When I finally get inside
That’s when I will start to cough and sneeze
This cold weather would make me cry
If all my tears wouldn’t freeze
Oh, I can’t get out the front door
‘Cause it just keeps piling up more
It’s a nonstop lousy shit show
No more snow, no more snow, no more snow
NOBODY WRITES ME LETTERS
(Nobody Does It Better – Carly Simon)
Nobody writes me letters
Makes me feel like I’m a dweeb
Nobody writes me, ‘cuz they don’t want to
Everybody’s mean
They say they mailed them
But somehow they lose them
And tried to blame the mailman
They’ll find ways to avoid me, but that annoys me
‘Cuz even Ed McMahon ignores me too
And nobody writes me letters
Though sometimes junk mail I will get
Nobody writes me, or even calls me
Why does everyone forget?
The way people feel, when they open that seal
Like there’s money in that envelope
What keeps them from writing, can’t be too exciting
Why do I always feel like a dope?
‘Cause, nobody writes me letters
Makes me feel like such a fool
Nobody writes me, or even e-mails
Someone, tell me, why are, you all cruel?
Everybody’s mean, everybody’s mean
Everybody’s mean, everybody’s mean
Everybody’s mean, everybody’s mean
NUTS IN A VICE
(Cuts Like A Knife – Bryan Adams)
COMING SOON!
OB-I-WAN
(Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da – The Beatles)
Anakin was a slave kid down on Tatooine
Qui-Gon was a master of the force
Anakin met Qui-Gon and the Naboo Queen
And good ‘ol Ben was there to keep them right on course
Ob-I-Wan, Ke-No-Bi, Jedi Knight, ah
Restless was the young padawan
Ob-I-Wan, Ke-No-Bi, Jedi Knight, ah
Everyone loves Obi-Wan
Anakin left his mother, went to Coruscant
Stood before a council of Jedis,
Qui-Gon says he’ll train him, Yoda says he can’t,
And Obi-Wan says he’ll do it as Qui-Gon dies
Ob-I-Wan, Ke-No-Bi, Jedi Knight, ah
Restless was the young padawan
Ob-I-Wan, Ke-No-Bi, Jedi Knight, ah
Everyone loves Obi-Wan
After several years, he will learn his Jedi stuff
With Palpatine trying to wipe them out
And Anakin taking it rough
Anakin and Padme, they got married
He fell to the dark side and turned mean
Padme born the twins that she carried
Ben took them away and hid out on Tatooine
Ob-I-Wan, Ke-No-Bi, Jedi Knight, ah
Reckless was that old hermit Ben
Ob-I-Wan, Ke-No-Bi, Jedi Knight
Ah, everybody’s Jedi friend
After several years, he’ll grow to be old and wise
He’ll meet up with Luke and start telling him lies
Luke left home and went with Ben to Alderaan
Rescued Leia before she was toast
Vader sliced Ben in half and then he was gone,
But then he stuck around and helped them as a ghost
Yea!
Ob-I-Wan, Ke-No-Bi, Jedi Knight, ah
Reckless was that old hermit Ben
Ob-I-Wan, Ke-No-Bi, Jedi Knight, ah
Everybody’s Jedi friend
…….and if you wanna know more
See Ob-I-Wan in Star Wars!
ODOUR OF BALONEY FARTS
(Owner Of A Lonely Heart – Yes)
Excuse yourself, you always let ’em rip
Never thinking of your manners
Brace yourself, it’s just like rotten eggs
That smell hits you like a hammer
Fan yourself, the gas is lingering
Try and try to blow it out a window
Check, check yourself, I think you crapped your pants
So it smells that way
Odour of baloney farts, odour of a baloney farts
Much better than a…
Odour of a deadly fart, odour of baloney farts
Hey, that gas is so toxic, your ass must be so sore
Stop it now, you ate too many beans
Now your boxers’ getting moldy
You, cut the cheese, and then you cleared the room
And you wonder why you’re always lonely
Plug yourself, give some fresh air a chance
You got the scent of a cow
Odour of baloney farts, odour of a baloney farts
Much better than a…
Odour of a deadly fart, odour of baloney farts
Odour of baloney farts
After all your ingestion, you repulsed me so
(Odour of baloney farts)
It smells like something crawled up your ass and died
In the bathroom you should go, wipe before you flush
(Odour of baloney farts)
And don’t get constipated now, oh no
Odour of baloney farts, odour of a baloney farts
Much better than a…
Odour of a deadly fart, odour of baloney farts
Odour of baloney farts, odour of a baloney farts
Much better than a…
Odour of a deadly fart, odour of baloney farts
Odour of baloney farts, odour of baloney farts
Sooner or later Pepto-Bismol will defeat that smelly fart
(Odour of baloney farts)
It will turn, it will burn, it will rip those cheeks apart
(Odour of baloney farts)
Don’t relieve yourself anymore
Don’t relieve yourself anymore
Don’t relieve yourself anymore, just diffuse it
(Odour of baloney farts)
ONE NIGHT IN BEDROCK
(One Night In Bangkok – Murray Head)
Bedrock, town of many cavemen
But it’s not the prehistoric town that you’d expect
The crème de la crème is a show
At the Hollyrock Bowl with Anne Margrock
All cars, rolling down the street
They all get moving by bare running feet
Last names, all of whom are varied
Are not what you would think to be ordinary
It’s Rockhead, or Slaghoople, or Rubble, or… Flintstone!
One night in Bedrock and you won’t feel alone
Not much to work at but the gravel pit
You’ll find that everything is made out of stone
And it seems that nobody minds a bit
‘Cause that’s pretty much the only thing you get
This town’s not like any other
When you’re seeing all of the creatures, brother
There’s pterodactyls, brontosaurus and dinosaurs
And other animals that are doing all the chores
What did you think?
That you’d see some advanced technology?
That’s the way they live,
Where everything is so damn primitive
Each week, you can always choose to go
To the lodge of the Water Buffalo
I get my kicks drinking cactus juice, sunshine
One night in Bedrock isn’t too much trouble
Not much to do except to go bowling
You’ll find that your best friend is Barney Rubble
And he always chuckles at everything
You can always hear it when the Wayouts sing
Gazoo, a little green alien
Always showing up when you really don’t need him
I don’t know why no one else can see him
Except kids and animals
And thank God the dinosaurs are pets, and don’t eat us
How does a bronto ribs order
Always makes your car tip right over?
And why is it, when you are running
You keep on going past the same things?
So where else can you go?
New rock? Holly rock? Rock vegas?
One night in Bedrock and you won’t feel alone
Not much to work at but the gravel pit
You’ll find that everything is made out of stone
And it seems that nobody minds a bit
‘Cause that’s pretty much the only thing you get
One night in Bedrock isn’t too much trouble
Not much to do except to go bowling
You’ll find that your best friend is Barney Rubble
And he always chuckles at everything
You can always hear it when the Wayouts sing
ORDINARY AVERAGE McFLY
(Ordinary Average Guy – Joe Walsh)
COMING SOON!
OUNCE OF WEED
(Count On Me – Jefferson Airplane)
COMING SOON!
OUT OF STYLE SOCKS
(Crocodile Rock – Elton John)
I remember through my highs and lows
I was choosy about my clothes
Flannel shirts and corduroy pants
Had a turtleneck sweater that I got from my aunt
But the weirdest thing I ever bought
Was getting a pair of those out of style socks
While the other kids were mocking me a lot
I was talkin’ and walkin’ with my out of style socks, yea
Argyle socking, was always rocking
‘Cuz my feet always kept warm
I never had me a better pair, it’s the best I’ve ever worn
Oh, I remember, those fungus frights
Because my shoes were way too tight
And those out of style socks always fit right
Laa, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-laa, la-la-la-la-laa
But the years flew by and some fads just die
Corduroys had left us and so did tye-dye
Long days sighing by the washing machine
Thinking of my sweaters and my bell-bottom jeans
But it never matched the stares I got
Smellin’ up those out of style socks
All those holes and stains of grass
I really thought my out of style socks would last
Argyle socking, was always rocking
‘Cuz my feet always kept warm
I never had me a better pair, it’s the best I’ve ever worn
Oh, I remember, those fungus frights
Because my shoes were way too tight
And those out of style socks always fit right
Laa, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-laa, la-la-la-la-laa
I remember through my highs and lows
I was choosy about my clothes
Flannel shirts and corduroy pants
Had a turtleneck sweater that I got from my aunt
But the weirdest thing I ever bought
Was getting a pair of those out of style socks
While the other kids were mocking me a lot
I was talkin’ and walkin’ with my out of style socks, yea
Argyle socking, was always rocking
‘Cuz my feet always kept warm
I never had me a better pair, it’s the best I’ve ever worn
Oh, I remember, those fungus frights
Because my shoes were way too tight
And those out of style socks always fit right
Laa, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-laa, la-la-la-la-laa
Laa, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-laa, la-la-la-la-laa
PAC-MAN
(Soul Man – Sam And Dave)
COMING SOON!
PAINT THAT BED FRAME
(Ain’t That A Shame – Fats Domino)
You made, me faint
When you chipped, that paint
Paint that bed frame
Right on the wood grain
Paint that bed frame
With a little stain
You need, not blush
Just grab, a brush
Paint that bed frame
Right on the wood grain
Paint that bed frame
With a little stain
Dark blue, oil-based
Two coats, a waste
Paint that bed frame
Right on the wood grain
Paint that bed frame
With a little stain
You missed, a spot
You don’t paint, a lot
Paint that bed frame
Right on the wood grain
Paint that bed frame
It can be such a pain
PAIR OF NICE TITTIES
(Paradise City – Guns ‘N Roses)
I have found me a pair of nice titties
They’re the best I’ve seen and they’re oh so pretty
Oh don’t you tease, give me more
Firm and round, it’s a pair of nice titties
They’re not too big, but they’re not itty bitty
Oh won’t you please, give me more
Searching for the right woman all my life
Somebody who will be my wife
I keep finding the ones that were just so wrong for me
I’d end up finding them to be flat as a board or too droopy
At first you were shy and quiet
But you had a great rack and tried not to hide it
You didn’t leave much to the imagination
So I really knew right there and then
The jiggling would never end
I have found me a pair of nice titties
They’re the best I’ve seen and they’re oh so pretty
Oh don’t you tease, give me more, yeah, yeah
Firm and round, it’s a pair of nice titties
They’re not too big, but they’re not itty bitty
Give me more
With those great globes of flesh that are beautiful
Cute and perky and symmetrical
You turn all the heads of every guy everywhere
I know they’re jealous of me, but I just don’t care
I have found me a pair of nice titties
They’re the best I’ve seen and they’re oh so pretty
Give me more, yeah, yeah
Firm and round, it’s a pair of nice titties
They’re not too big, but they’re not itty bitty
Oh won’t you please, give me more, yeah
So big and firm, so big and firm
So big and firm, so big and firm
People always ask me why I am with you
If there’s anything more to you than boobs
But if they’re saying there’s so much better I can do
I say they’re losing their minds, are you blind?
You’re perfect to me every time
I have found me a pair of nice titties
They’re the best I’ve seen and they’re oh so pretty
Give me more, yeah, yeah
Firm and round, it’s a pair of nice titties
They’re not too big, but they’re not itty bitty
Oh won’t you please, give me more
I have found me a pair of nice titties
They’re the best I’ve seen and they’re oh so pretty
Give me more, yeah, yeah
Firm and round, it’s a pair of nice titties
They’re not too big, but they’re not itty bitty
Oh won’t you please, give me more, more
I found the best, firm and round breasts
Oh don’t you tease, give me more
I wanna see, those nice big titties
Oh don’t you tease, give me more
I have found me a pair of nice titties
They’re the best I’ve seen and they’re oh so pretty
Oh don’t you tease, give me more
Firm and round, it’s a pair of nice titties
They’re not too big, but they’re not itty bitty
Oh won’t you please, give me more
I have found, oh yeah, firm and round
Oh won’t you please give me more
I want to see, those great big titties
So don’t you tease, give me more
I want them now, so don’t have a cow, oh, oh, give me more
I have found me a pair of nice titties
They’re the best I’ve seen and they’re oh so pretty
I want them please, give me more
(I want them, I want them, give me more)
I love those tits (I love them), love ‘em to bits (you know it)
So please don’t tease, give me more, yeah
Boobies, yeah
PAJAMAS
(Jamming – Bob Marley)
Oooh yea
Pajamas, I want pajamas in blue
Pajamas, jammies, and I hope you wear pajamas too
Underoos were cool, they made you look like a fool
But only if they were see-through
‘Cause every night you go to bed
With a night cap on your head
Jammies are the thing for you
Pajamas, I think my flannels don’t fit me no more
Pajamas, but those aren’t the only one that I wore
No undies can fit us, if it’s either boxers or if it’s briefs
Neither are comfortable
I will defend the fact that your nightgown really lacks
Your robe is sometimes downright dull
Pajamas, jammies, jammies, jammies, jammies
Pajamas are what I wear to bed
Pajamas, jammies, jammies, jammies, jammies
Pajamas I will wear ‘til I’m dead
Cotton, silk, satin, cotton, silk, satin
I’m sleeping in some satin
And it feels so damn cozy, yeah, they’re pajamas
Pajamas, I want pajamas in blue
Pajamas, jammies, and I hope you wear pajamas too
Jammies on my hide and I’ll wash them Tide
They keep me satisfied
Two pairs, that’s all I need, they’re so comfy
Loose and free, and so warm inside
Pajamas, jammies, jammies, jammies, jammies
I want pajamas in blue
Pajamas, jammies, jammies, jammies, jammies
I hope you wear Pajamas too
PANCAKES
(Poundcake – Van Halen)
COMING SOON!
PANHANDLER
(Maneater – Daryl Hall & John Oates)
They are out there all the time, and holding up their signs
What can you do, you see them everywhere
Washing your windshield, they’re making it worse
But you act like you don’t care
They are desperate as can be
And they make you feel so guilty
They’re looking for cash
But then who really carries cash anymore?
Filthy and homeless, oh, and they’re hard to avoid
There’s always more than before
Oh, oh, here they come
Watch out man, they need your change
Oh, oh, here they come, It’s a panhandler
Oh, oh, here they come
Watch out man, they need your change
Oh, oh, here they come, It’s a panhandler
I’d give change if I were you, It’s the least you can do
They’re hungry, man
And they could really use a buck or two
You could lie to them, you say you’re sorry
Yet they still say God bless you
Oh, oh, here they come
Watch out man, they need your change
Oh, oh, here they come, It’s a panhandler
Oh, oh, here they come
Watch out man, they need your change
Oh, oh, here they come, It’s a panhandler
Oh, oh, here they come (here they come)
Watch out man, they need your change
Oh, oh, here they come (watch out), it’s a panhandler
Oh, oh, here they come (it’s a panhandler)
Ooh, ooh they need your change
Oh, oh, here they come (here they come), it’s a panhandler
Oh, oh, here they come (watch out)
They are out there every day, oo-ooh
Oh, oh, here they come, here they come, it’s a panhandler
Oh, oh, here they come (it’s a panhandler)
They’re hungry and broke, oo-ooh
Oh, oh, here they come (here they come)
Watch out, man, watch out, man
Oh, oh, here they come
(oo-ooh, watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out)
Oh, oh, here they come (watch out), panhandler
PENIS RING
(Sweetest Thing – U2)
COMING SOON!
PHALLIC
(Magic – The Cars)
COMING SOON!
PILLSBURY ROLLS
(Solsbury Hill – Peter Gabriel)
Baking up some Pillsbury rolls
I could see the oven light
As my hunger took its toll
Just can’t wait to have a bite
It was starting to turn brown
Came in close, I felt the heat
Sniffing smelling all around
Now my dinner is complete
It just came out of the refrigerator
I just cannot wait any later
Timer going click, click, ding!
“Mom” I said, “Grab your mitts
It’s time to take them out.”
Wolf them down, I just can’t stop
My family would think that I was nuts
Spreading butter right on top
With the knife it would be cut
I could eat the whole damn batch
Though’ my rolls was in my gut
Just throw them right down my hatch
Passing wind right out my butt
I was stealing right off my sister’s plate
She wasn’t done, I just couldn’t wait
My Mom going no, no, no
“Hey” she said, “Grab that dough
I’m going to make some more.” (Some more)
Then along comes Poppin’ Fresh
He’s the dough boy from Pillsbury
As he giggles in excess
Poking him in the tummy
He walks through flour and makes a mess
This little prick is bugging me
The rolling pin I did possess
And I flattened him with glee
Tonight we don’t need any dessert
’Cuz now we’re baking this pudgy-ass squirt
His cries going, Why? Why? Why?
“Hey” I said, “Nothing says loving,
like a dough boy in the oven!”
PIMPLY HAIRY TESTICLES
(Simply Irresistible – Robert Palmer)
COMING SOON!
PISSING ON MY HANDS
(Listen To The Band – The Monkees)
COMING SOON!
PIZZA BURNING
(Beast Of Burden – The Rolling Stones)
I thought I smelled the pizza burning
You can’t cook, but you are learning
All I wanted was a large with anchovies
I think I see the pizza burning
The flames are high, and I am squirming
All you used was three different blends of cheese
Is it cooked enough
Is it wrecked enough
Is it black enough
It’s way too burnt for me
I’m pretty sure that pizza’s burning
The smoke is thick, my eyes are hurting
Smoke alarm is going off
Come on grab the extinguisher please
Is it cooked enough
Is it wrecked enough
Is it black enough
It’s way too burnt for me
Oh, call the fire truck, very, very, very, very burnt
Yes it’s really, really, really, really, really charred
Really, very, it’s now truly, truly toast
Come on baby, clear the smoke
I’ll tell ya, you can put on, some pork or beef
Put on some ham and pepperoni
But put it out, put it out, put the fire out first please
Yea, all your dinners, I can eat it up
Cook it all for me, I can work it off
There’s just one thing I can’t figure out
When you make our meals, fires always break out
Ain’t it cooked enough, ooh baby, is it hard enough
Ain’t it crisp enough, on fire enough, ooh, ooh, help!
I know I smell the pizza burning
I know I smell the pizza burning
Always, always, always, always, always
Always burns away
I hate to see my pizza burning
I want to eat, and my hunger’s yearning
All I want, is you making lunch for me
We don’t need the pizza burning
I don’t like charcoal, and that’s for certain
Always, always, always, always, always
Always burns away…
PLAYIN’ ATARI
(Surfin’ Safari – The Beach Boys)
COMING SOON!
PLAYIN’ SOME SPACE INVADERS
(Love In An Elevator – Aerosmith)
Walkin’ into the local arcade
Back in nineteen eighty-three
I’m seeing all the games that I’ve played
But now they all are boring me
Now what am I gonna play
That’s a challenge for my wits
I really need a game with some aliens
That I can blast to bits
Playin’ some Space Invaders
Shootin’ them up ‘cause they’re coming down
Playin’ some Space Invaders
Losin’ the game when they hit the ground
Pac-man is not too exciting
Eat some dots, then some more
And Frogger is uninviting
I always get a lousy score
I kinda, like Donkey Kong
But you can’t shoot anyone
I like to kill aliens that look like an octopus
‘Cause it is really fun
Playin’ some Space Invaders
Shootin’ them up ‘cause they’re coming down
Playin’ some Space Invaders
Losin’ the game when they hit the ground
Gonna blast, at their ass
Gotta hurry up, they’re getting fast
Playin’ some Space Invaders
Shootin’ them up ‘cause they’re coming down
Space Invaders, coming down…
Playin’ some Space Invaders
Shootin’ them up ‘cause they’re coming down
Playin’ some Space Invaders
Losin’ the game when they hit the ground
Gonna spend all of my quarters
Wish I was a millionaire
I’m gonna be a real high scorer
And put my initials there
Gonna blast my shelters through
So I can clear out all those rows
I’m gonna fire at the spot that they’re gonna be
And shoot some U.F.O.’s
Playin’ some Space Invaders
Hittin’ those buttons furiously
Playin’ some Space Invaders
I take this game too seriously
On the edge, on the edge
Baby one more game, I need revenge
Playin’ some Space Invaders
Shootin’ them up ‘cause they’re coming down
Gonna blast, at their ass
Gotta hurry up, they’re getting fast
Playin’ some Space Invaders
Losin’ the game when they hit the ground
(repeat)
PLEASE DIRECT ME (TO THE JOHN)
(Don’t Forget Me (When I’m Gone) – Glass Tiger)
COMING SOON!
PLUNGE (WHEN THE DRAINS ARE CLOGGED)
(Pride (In The Name Of Love) – U2)
COMING SOON!
POKE YOU IN THE EYES
(Smoke Gets In Your Eyes – The Platters)
COMING SOON!
POLTERGEIST
(Cold As Ice – Foreigner)
COMING SOON!
POOR FROM ALIMONY
(Pour Some Sugar On Me – Def Leppard)
COMING SOON!
POPEYE THE SAILOR MAN
(Henery The Eighth I Am – Herman’s Hermits)
I’m Popeye the sailor man
Popeye the sailor man, I yam
I yam in love with my Olive Oyl
She’s one very special goil
And every time she’s in trouble (oh no)
I’m saving her skinny ass again (I yam)
She’s my biggest fan, I’m Popeye
Popeye the sailor man
Second verse, can’t get worse..
I’m Popeye the sailor man
Popeye the sailor man, I yam
I get hassled by this great big nuisance
His name is Bluto, or is it Brutus?
And every time that I’m fighting him (bully)
I squeeze that spinach right out of the can (the can)
I do the best I can, I’m Popeye
Popeye the sailor man
I’m Popeye the sailor man
Popeye the sailor man, I yam
I have this ‘infink’ that they call Swee’Pea
And my Pappy looks a lot like me
And there’s this guy who loves hamburgers (Wimpy)
Then along comes that old Sea Hag again (again)
I don’t give a damn, I’m Popeye
Popeye the sailor man
P-O-P-E-Y-E
Popeye (Popeye)
Popeye (Popeye)
Popeye the sailor man, I yam
Popeye the sailor man
Yeah!
PORN STAR
(All Star – Smashmouth)
COMING SOON!
PORNO MAN
(Piano Man – Billy Joel)
COMING SOON!
PORNO QUEEN
(Dancing Queen – Abba)
She can screw, she can blow
Spreading her legs as she goes, oo-ooh
See that snatch, watch it cream
Dig in the porno queen
Friday night and nothing to do
Looking to rent something new
Where they play the bad music, getting in the smut
You’re in the mood for sluts
Nobody’s tits can be that huge
She’s a whore and loves the splooge
With a bit of hot oil, she’s a special girl
She’s doing twelve at once
And when she drops her pants…..
She is the Porno Queen, so obscene
Since she was eighteen
Porno queen, got her start
With Harry Reams, oh yea
She can suck, she can lick
She can also do a chick, oo-ooh
See that star, watch her scream
Dig in the porno queen
She’s a tease, she turns you on
Leaves you spankin’ until you… cum
Looking for a huge pecker
Three or four will do
She’ll do bukakke too
That’s when she takes the goo…..
She is the porno queen
Shaved so clean, on the T.V. screen
Porno queen
You don’t know where that dildo’s been, oh no
She can screw, she can blow
Spreading her legs as she goes, oo-ooh
See that snatch, watch it cream
Dig in the porno queen
Dig in the porno queen…
PULL YOUR PANTS UP
(Hold Your Head Up – Argent)
COMING SOON!
PUNCH ME
(Pinch Me – Barenaked Ladies)
It’s the perfect time of year
To go and drink all of your beer
Then I’d go and smoke some grass
And end up flat out on my ass
There’s this hooker down the street
I brought her home for Mom to meet
I could bathe, but I don’t care
I still won’t wash my underwear
I’m just a lazy bum who will always out of work, so I’ll
Lay around and smoke and cuss like a jerk, ‘cause I’m
Someone that just doesn’t give a rat’s ass
You start to get upset and a little bit annoyed, when you,
Realize I’m a bastard you can’t avoid, then you,
Try to figure out how long this will last
It’s the perfect time of day
To go and spend your cash away
Take a piss right on your lawn
Then run through with no clothes on
Do a dump right on your floor
And throw tomatoes at your door
Let some farts go in your room
Then drink away the afternoon
I’m just a lazy bum who will always out of work, so I’ll,
Lay around and smoke and cuss like a jerk, ‘cause I’m
Someone that just doesn’t give a rat’s ass
You start to get upset and a little bit annoyed, when you,
Realize I’m a bastard you can’t avoid, then you,
Try to figure out how long this will last
Punch me, punch me, ‘cause I’m such, a creep
Please god, kill me, cuz’ I’m such a creep
On an evening dumb as this
You can give my ass a kiss
Steal your car and run you down
And say your wife sleeps around
I can give you a buttfore
You just asked what a butt is for
I could leave, but don’t want to
I’d rather be here bugging you
I’m just a lazy bum who will always out of work, so I’ll,
Lay around and smoke and cuss like a jerk, ‘cause I’m
Someone that just doesn’t give a rat’s ass
You start to get upset and a little bit annoyed, when you,
Realize I’m a bastard you can’t avoid, then you,
Try to figure out how long this will last
Punch me, I’m someone who doesn’t give a rat’s ass
Punch me, trying to figure out how long this will last
Punch me
PUTTIN’ ON MY MITTS
(Puttin’ On The Ritz – Taco)
When it’s cold, and I don’t care
If I’ve been told, to always wear, something that fits
Puttin’ on my mitts
Different types, to warm up my hands
Dots or stripes, and more if I can, cotton or knits
Puttin’ on my mitts
Dressed up in twelve layers of winter clothing
And it seems that it will not stop snowing (It keeps going)
When my hands, are turning so blue
Then I can, just try to do, a perfect fix
Puttin’ on my mitts
Have you seen those eskimos
Wearing lots of heavy clothes
That’s like what I always wear
Down to the long underwear
Wool toques and a big long ass scarf
Snow suits all bought from Walmart
All of this is worn, just to keep myself warm
Now I can’t feel, all my fingers
Boy do I really hate winter, it is the pits
Puttin’ on my mitts
Different folks can wear fancy coats
But we know it’s all about, more than the glitz
Puttin’ on my mitts
Dressed up for an Arctic expedition
Hoping that I will not get frostbitten (that’s my mission)
If there’s snow, and I am sure
That it can go, to a blizzard, that’s how it gets
Puttin’ on my mitts
Dressed up in twelve layers of winter clothing
And it seems that it will not stop snowing (It keeps going)
When my hands, are turning so blue
Then I can, just try to do, a perfect fix
Puttin’ on my mitts
Puttin’ on my mitts, puttin’ on my mitts
Puttin’ on my mitts
Outside, inside, get my fix, with my mitts
It is cold, but hands are warm, perfect for a winter storm
I can wear, wear them all the time, I can..
Wear… loving these mittens, nice and comfy
I love them mitts, wear…
Put them on, putting them on
Putting them on, putting them on
My M-I-T-T-S, I always have them on me,
Keeping warm. Keeping warm.
When it’s cold, and I don’t care
If I’ve been told, to always wear
Something that fits
Puttin’ on my mitts, puttin’ on my mitts
Puttin’ on my mitts, puttin’ on my mitts